No More Training Wheels

Isaac has been riding a bike with training wheels since he was three. Neither David or I are big bikers, so it wasn't a priority to take the training wheels off. We also live in an area with steep incline, so it is an ordeal to ride a bike. We have to pack it up in the trunk, and drive somewhere. Its not the way I learned how to ride a bike when I was a kid - step out your front door and start pedaling.
We knew that this birthday we wanted to get Isaac a new big bike. I originally was going to order one online, and I am so glad that we didn't. We went to a couple bike stores and tried several bikes until we found one that fit him like a glove. The man at the bike shop, who was very knowledgeable, told us that we had our work cut out for us. He thought we had waited a little too long to start teaching Isaac, and that he it was going to take him a while to learn. He did say to only practice for 20 minutes a day - keep it short and sweet.
The next day I took him out, and we practiced. It was one of the toughest work outs I have done, and I am in pretty good shape. I mean, I can run 10 miles at this point - but running along side him, holding up his body weight, and anticipating his sideways movement was very difficult. I was holding him with two hands under the armpits and rolling him around.
We woke up the next morning and did it again. There was huge improvement. I was still holding him, but with one arm, and he was starting to check his balance. Third day I held the back of his tshirt between my fingers letting go from time to time, and the fourth day he was riding on his own while I ran beside him.
On day five I took him to the park along with Davids parents who were in from out of town, and David, and everyone was blown away. I could no longer keep up with him, so I just had to let him go, and it was easily one of the scariest parenting moments so far. It was at that moment that I knew we needed some elbow and knee pads - and even some biking gloves - but I was amazed at his confidence on the bike, and his enjoyment of the new freedom he found while riding all over the park.
In the past week he has mastered starting and stopping the bike, turning, and controlling his speed. He has not yet mastered telling people he is coming, and has consequently ridden into the back of a couple elderly people's legs. We immediately ordered a bell.
The addition of pads has made me feel much  more comfortable, and every day with increased experience I am settling into yet another one of his 'big boy' milestones. We have ordered a bike rack, my bike has been pulled out of storage, and I am looking forward to exploring LA on wheels with my little man.

Three

She's three. I really cant believe it. I know I have said this before, but I never thought I would have a girl, so every year on her birthday I am reminded that she is actually my child, and I did in fact give birth to her. This year Coco has really come into her own. We are starting to see her personality, and in one word
I would call her 'Independent'. She much more than Isaac really enjoys her own autonomy. She has never kissed me on the lips, and really doesn't like kisses. She will wipe them off, or ask me to stop. I do get hugs and love on her terms, but rarely will she appease me when I want some for myself.
Last night David was out of town and I asked her if she wanted to sleep with me in my bed - she never has before. Isaac did the last time David was out of town, so I thought I would be fair and take turns. In typical Coco fashion she told me no, she wanted to sleep in 'her own bed'. And so Isaac spent the night moving his wall to all four corners of my bed. He still sleeps like he did in the crib with no sense of which way is up.

Coco's language is really advanced. She speaks in paragraphs, and uses words that I have no recollection of teaching her. I caught her looking in the mirror last week, and then she whispered under her breath 'Im so stylish'. She has so much confidence. Is becoming more of a risk taker, and is frightened by very little. She adores older girls, and can spend hours playing with them.

She is a daddy's girl. She adores David, as Isaac did, but needs him in a different way. When David isn't home for bedtime she gets teary eyed and wont let me sing her lullabies. She and David have a funny little bedtime ritual where they count like the count does in Sesame Street (one, two, ha ha ha).  Im not sure where it came from, but it is deeply ingrained in her bedtime routine, and it is not something I am allowed to do with her. She asks where Daddy is almost every hour, and shrieks for at least 20 seconds every night when he walks in the door.

Today on Coco's third birthday she is officially discharged from the Regional Center's program which has provided her services up to this point. She will no longer receive PT, OT, or ST unless we access our private insurance. We had a final assessment done before she was discharged and all of her skills were above an age three level with the exception of gross motor. There are still a few things she needs to work on (stair climbing, strength in her left leg, running, jumping) but she keeps up with her classmates and is at a point where I barely notice a difference. And of course, what she lacks in ability she makes up for in attitude, so somehow she is exactly where she needs to be. The road to this point hasn't been an easy one, but we've made it. We hope to continue riding horses after the new year, and she loves her dance class and preschool.

Coco is for the most part willing to try anything, and happy to go along with the plan. She has her moments of resistance, and certainly stands up to Isaac. She is most confident and demanding at home as she often shouts her needs from the other room. I think this year will be a big one for her as she starts to develop friendships, and grow even more independent.

Beginning Kindergarten

Last week Isaac, and our entire family, had our first day at Isaac's new school. This school does not use the traditional nomenclature of kindergarten, first grade, etc., but rather describes their age groups as just that, 'groups'. SO, Isaac began group one. His teachers names are Michelle and Kazia. Michelle has been a teacher in group one for many many years and is absolutely phenomenal. Simply watching her with the kids inspires me.
The first week of school is intended as a transitional time for both the student and the parents. The school gently begins to make the student feel comfortable by allowing them small snippets of time in the classroom, and then time with mom and dad. The first day of this transition Isaac spent some time in his new class, and David and I spent time getting to know a bit about the other parents. We were blown away by how interesting each of them were, how open the were to approaching each other with genuine interest in getting to know each other. Most people had interesting creative professions, and we truly felt that everyone shared very similar values and had chosen this school and its progressive philosophy for a reason. It felt like we were part of something beautiful, a community within a very large city.  Isaac seemed to enjoy his first day too. He recognized some of the children's faces who we had spent time with over the summer. We all left feeling warm, happy, and exhausted.
Day two was similar to day one except that the parents learned about many of the rules and operations of the school. We met with all of the teachers who lead the specialty curriculum, and learned about drop off and pick up. Two hours later Isaac and I left ready for a nap.
The third day was more socializing for adults and school for the littles. We were introduced to the school physiologist who spent time discussing 'separation' and what that may mean for a kindergarten aged child. It was very useful, and the questions that the parents were asking were incredibly open and wonderful. After this discussion we headed out for a big picnic with all of group one and their parents. Isaac and I had baked cookies to share with the class. He walked around with such a proud look on his face as he passed each one out, and as expected each parent adored the cookies, valued them, and spent a lot of time thanking Isaac for his efforts.
Over the weekend David and I attended a parent mixer hosted by group two for group one. We got to know the parents even better. Spent time learning about who they were, and talking about who we are. When we left I told David that for the first time ever I felt like we were part of a group of people who were all genuinely comfortable with just being themselves. That ease was so apparent, and made us feel like we just just be. The power in that is huge and a reminder of how important it is to be authentic and true with those around you.
We are thrilled with our choice, and so happy that Isaac is going to have such a positive experience at this magical school. I am looking forward to all the participation this year, and opportunities to simply be around the campus and its parents. Walking through the gates of this school you just feel it, something meaningful, something powerful, something much bigger than any of its individuals. Its a place we are proud to call our elementary school.

Coco Starts Preschool

 

I have been in Mommy and Me with Coco for a year now. Many kids transition into an independent preschool class -at the school she and Isaac attends - once they turn two. Because Coco has had some delay in her development I decided to keep her in Mommy and Me an extra few months and start her in Summer. I really cant believe that Summer has arrived, and the time has come for her to transition. 

People have told me how different their two children are, but I never understood how this could be possible until I had my own. In many ways Coco and Isaac are very similar. The are sensitive, observant, respectful, and a little slow to warm. In the case of transitioning they were night and day. Isaac had a really tough time when he transitioned. I attribute to doing it to early, when he was two. Coco is older, and she also has the added benefit of practically growing up at that school. Her current teachers have known her since she was two days old, and have watched her grow up. She has dropped Isaac off almost every day, attended all of the school wide events, and been in Mommy and Me for an extended amount of time. She was very clearly ready to start, and when I dropped her off she practically asked me to leave. I checked on her for the first couple hours, but she didn't need me to and really seemed to want me to leave so she could continue having fun. She is now going three days a week until 3pm. She naps at school, and I pick her up with Isaac. It is the last time for a long time that I will be able to drop both kids off and pick them up at the same place and the same time. I am savoring every second of it. Now that my days have freed up a bit, I have been able to do so many things that I have been putting off. It is amazing to get a three or four hour stretch of work in. It is the first time since Coco was born that I have had this and I am absolutely not taking it for granted.

Isaac's Preschool Graduation

There was a lot of build up to Isaac's graduation. First there was the search for a kindergarten which was intense, draining, and emotional. David and I spent a tremendous amount of time and energy touring schools, researching our options, and weighing the pros and cons of every imaginable scenario. I don't want don't want to spend too much time talking about this because I am thrilled to finally be past it, but I will say that the public education system in California is in a very scary and very depleted place. I toured our home school four times over the past year hoping that something would change, and nothing ever did. We also scoured charter school options, applied to three, and were accepted to all of them. In the end none of them were as good a fit for Isaac as the school that we decided on. When I realized that our home school was as large as it was, and had very little arts education David and I decided to entertain the idea of private school - something we never thought we would do. After a ton of research I came across a couple 'Progressive Schools' in our area. The philosophy at these schools was so inline with the way that we parent our kids, and our hopes for their education. We immediately felt connected to them, and excited about the idea that this type of education was actually possible for our kids.Yes progressive education is an alternative to the test-oriented instruction that so many public schools have become wrapped up in (they have no other choice) legislated by the 'No Child Left Behind' educational funding act, but it is really about so much more. Based on the teachings of John Dewey, progressive education stressed the importance of community, respect for diversity, and learning through projects that help develop a deep and rich understanding of the curriculum being studied. It is hands on learning deeply routed in building, creating, making, visiting, and teamwork. It is a direct reflection of the democratic society we live in. There are very few textbooks or desks, and no tests. I know that makes it sound radical, but it really isn't. The school is focused on the individual child, and the strengths and qualities that make them unique. The depth of the curriculum, and richness of the learning at the school we finally selected is unlike anything I had ever seen, and unlike the way I was taught. Is it better? I cant say that, but it seems the best fit for Isaac.
Having finally selected a school we all felt a huge sense of relief. We had teetered between a wonderful inclusive charter school, and the school we selected - money being the number one deciding factor. Once we removed that from the equation the choice was obvious, and we wanted to make it a priority and find a way to give this gift to our children.
So it was graduation time. Isaac had been practicing with his class for weeks. His teachers even seemed to think it was overkill to suck up his last weeks of preschool with so much practice, and I have to agree. The ceremony ended up being very sweet. We arrived early and literally sprinted for front row seats. Mission accomplished. There were a thousand songs, diplomas being handed out, and some very thoughtful touches. Clearly this was a milestone that was important to so many people, and an emotional one at that.
Isaac mentioned to be that he was supposed to say what he wanted to be when he grew up once he was on stage. So I asked him what he was going to say, and he said 'Architect'. My goodness, I thought. Its such an amazing profession, but also one that is so very demanding. I felt pride that he wanted in some tiny way to be like me, I also felt astonished that at his very young age of 5 I could actually see  him becoming an architect. He is consumed with building, and very very good at it. I haven no idea if this will stick, and I certainly wont sway him in that direction. It will be wonderful to watch him continue to grow and develop and change his mind hopefully a hundred times before something just feels right.
So when the moment came, and he stepped on stage (the first boy) and his teachers asked him 'What do you want to be when you grow up' his answer was, 'A Basketball Player'. I smiled ear to ear. The perfect answer. These are the years when anything still seems possible, dreams are lofty and goals seems easily reachable. I envied his confidence and excitement, and so happy his answer was a beautiful reflection of the joys of being five.

Potty Training, Again.

When I first found out I was pregnant with my second, one of the first thoughts that ran through my head was, (insert curse word here) I have to potty train another kid. Potty training Isaac for whatever reason really stressed me out. We ended up in a power struggle - probably because our personalities are oh so similar- and it just wasn't a fond or pleasant memory. With all that being said, it happened quickly, and within a week he was potty trained and the diapers were ditched for good.
I had heard that potty training a girl was 'easier' and that it usually occurred at a younger age, but with all of the developmental delay and physical setbacks we have had with Coco I somehow doubted this would be true for her. I wasn't sure she had the leg strength to sit down and get up off the potty, pull her pants down, or even push out what she needed to, but at right about 2 years 3 months it was clear she was very ready. She was telling me every time she went to the bathroom. It seemed like an opportune time to give it a try as we were about a month away from transitioning to preschool, and we had a week with very little going on.
She woke up on Monday morning, we told her it was time to say goodbye to diapers and hello to underwear, and we just went cold turkey. She was very excited about the underwear and all of the characters on them. She wasn't happy that I didn't let her wear them for the first couple days. I didn't want her to feel like she was wearing a diaper and forget that she was wearing underwear. This strategy is what finally helped Isaac make the connection so I thought I would start there first with Coco.
I also promised myself that this time around I would be relaxed and follow her cues. That first day she really didn't want to use the potty. It was as if she had a fear of peeing into something other than a diaper. She would scream bloody murder until she started peeing, and then finally calm down. This went on for the first two days, but the key was she knew when she has to go and where to do it. She did hold it in for the first little while, really not wanting to use the potty, but she always ended up going and not having an accident. Finally she started getting used to it (gummy bears helped) and would go over and sit on the potty when she needed to. I then knew she was ready for underwear.
The most helpful thing with Coco was asking her 'can I hear your pee pee' and then she magically would produce one. There was something about the noise that helped relax her and take the anxiety away. Very bravely we proceeded with out plan to go to Disneyland on day four of potty training. At this point she would only use her little potty, so we brought it with (a memory I will never forget). She held it in for the first couple hours, but finally used it, and we ended up having an accident free and very fun day at the park.
Number twos are a whole other story. She has been constipated since she was a baby, so it is no surprise that this continues to be a challenge. She will go in the potty, but it is full of theatrics and what appears to be genuine pain. We have started on a Miralax regimen which seems to be helping, but like most kids she holds it at school and only goes in the comfort of her own home. There is always a little crying involved, but it is getting better.
Potty training has given her a new sense of her own 'parts'. She refers to hers as a 'Pagina' and all of the sudden knows the difference between males and females. There is nothing like being in line at whole foods and having her ask me, loudly, if the cashier has a 'penis'.
She is pulling her clothes up and down to the best of her ability and as long as there is an elastic waist she is able to use the potty on her own. She is only kid in her preschool class who is potty trained, and she never needed diapers while she napped or slept. It is pretty amazing, and fortunately came much more easily than I anticipated. I have dreamed of the day when diapers were no more, and I am thrilled it is here. We have ditched the diaper genie, no longer have a change table, and donated all of are wipes and diapers. It has made me feel like I have to 'big kids' and no more babies, but when it comes to changing diapers, that is A-OK with me.

Activities

A year ago this time it was very hard to motivate Isaac to want to do any extracurricular activities. It was the first time that he was going a full day to school and not napping, and when I would pick him up he was bone tired. We could barely make it out of the parking lot without him falling asleep, and once he did crash he was very cranky when I tried to rouse him for anything it was almost impossible.

As the year progressed and he got used to his new extended schedule, we started Karate. Unlike many of the things we had tried in the past it seemed that he genuinely loved it. He was focused and interested always wanting to practice, and curious when he would work towards next belts.

Since starting he has achieved two new belts, and is on his way for his third. He is now a 'Lion', no longer a 'Tiger Tot' and beginning to spar and learn some actual martial arts techniques. It has been great for his confidence, and fun to watch him learn and grow.

We also are doing 't-ball' for the second year in a row. Last year we did it with our local parks and recreation center. The program was overcrowded, not well coached, and consequently none of us enjoyed it very much. It is amazing what a little organization and a dedicated coach will do! This year Isaac is no longer using the T, but is hitting balls pitched by the coach. He understands the concept of where to run after he hits, and has started catching and throwing much more proficiently. Most importantly he looks forward to it, and seems to really enjoy playing.

Coco continues to do Hippotherapy, but in addition has been dancing once a week. She is in an independent ballet/tap class that is the highlight of her week. She had no problem separating from me, and just loves dancing along to the music. Mainly she loves wearing a tutu and is amazed by the sounds her tap make on the wood floor. Her first recital is in a couple of weeks, and it will be so adorable to watch her and her little dancer buddies attempt to follow some type of choreography.