Defiance + Negotiations

At Coco's four month appointment, the first question Dr. Shulman asked was, how is Isaac? When I rolled my eyes and said, holy cow he is a handful, he responded with... 3 1/2 is the hardest age. They are defiant, and everything is about a negotiation. He is spot on.
It seems like most days are a constant string of negotiations with the young sir. Getting dressed has been a battle every day, transitions from one activity to another, meal time, nap time, using the bathroom, bath time... all are a power struggle and an opportunity for him to be defiant and difficult. We have started giving him choices, which have helped him to feel empowered and therefor eliminate the need for him to defy. Other than that there are very few tactics I have found that work.
Some of the highlights of his new behavior:
-throwing an apple from the backseat (hard) at the windshield because he was finished with it.
- not wanting to go anywhere we are going
- chasing and hitting cats
- waving his hands in our face, and hitting out of frustration
- climbing all over me while nursing
We know this is a normal developmental stage but I for one look forward to it passing. ASAP. Please.