on being four

Its all about the questions. None of them are particularly easy to answer. All of them require some thought and preparation before responding. They are an indication of his growing maturity, curiosity, introspection, and persistence.
Just today we have broached the subjects of both death and money.
He randomly said to me while we were playing on the living room rug, "Mommy I dont want to die". This lead into a large discussion about what death means, when we die, who he knows who is old, who he doesn't want to die. He even mentioned his 'Gramma Joyce'. He told me that she was old, and asked if she was going to die one day. We spoke openly and honestly about it. It was one of the first times that I really felt I could. I also realized that having a child that understands death, is curious about it, is beginning to wrap his head around the idea of it... makes him less a child and more a boy. To know your own mortality is to know your place in this world, at least I think so. It requires him to understand that he will not live forever, that life is a temporary condition, and that we must be careful with our bodies. I have been dreading this conversation for a long time - the death conversation. In that dread I had rehearsed how I would respond. Various explanations, ways of allowing him to understand, relate, without it all seeming so scary or bleak. I didn't want to be taken off guard. I wanted to be prepared. I think we (Isaac and I) did that conversation very proud. I am waiting for the follow up... "Mommy what happens to us after we die". I will start preparing for that one next.
And then of course, money. It started by a simple trip to whole foods where he wanted to buy strawberries. Of course, I only would allow organic strawberries, especially in winter, which cost upward of a zillion dollars, so I explained to Isaac the idea of seasonal produce. Why we are better off purchasing Oranges instead of Strawberries. This lead to a conversation about money. Where do we get it, why daddy goes to work, what cost money, what cost more money. There was without exaggerating over a hundred questions on the subject before the sweet sound of silence flooded my car. And then, as we drove into our driveway several hours later, in very typical Isaac fashion, after it has all had time to marinade, he asked "Mommy does our house cost more than our cars?" And so again I realized, CLICK! It is all coming together for him. All of the synapses are firing at a light speed, and my boy is quickly on his way to becoming something else.
He is four, a big four. Tall for his age. Incredibly articulate. Very mature. An exceptional storyteller. Very much enjoying roll play and dress up. Superheros, cars, trucks. He has become incredibly physical. The park no longer poses any obstacles for him. Mostly he is kind and considerate. Always thinking of his friends. Very prone to making sure others are ok. In love with his sister. Engaged at school, and growing each week with new knowledge. He is finally recognizing all letters, and what sounds they make. He can tell you what most words start with. Is beginning to recognize some basic three letter words. Numbers, not so much.
We are very much at a state of equilibrium. He is loving, pleasant, easy to adore, fun to spend time with, and actually really great to have a conversation with. Isaac observes the world with keen eyes. He has always observed. I love this about him. I love everything about him.
This very little person, this boy, all 38 pounds of him are rich and complex and everything I ever dreamed my child would be. Happy birthday to my beautiful four year old boy who wears his dreams on his sleeve. This year is going to be magical.