baby poll

I have been meaning to post this for a while. Here are the results from the baby poll we did for the little seamonkey at the baby shower. I was just looking back at the one we did at Isaac's baby shower which was even more fun because I didn't know the sex. Seems like lots of people thought we were having a girl. I will make sure to post the winner her once the baby is born.

37 weeks

Wow. I am now down to thinking about the time left in weeks and days. Just about two weeks to go, and we are going to meet this little lovely. Up until this point I have been aching to get her out just because I find pregnancy so miserable, but last night as I got into bed and realized that I could count in 'teens' the number of good nights of sleep I had left... I thought maybe she should stay in for a long while more. Then I lay down to begin reading my latest joy 'Snow Flower and the Secret Fan' and she started pummeling my innards, I thought again... get out. Eviction is coming little lady. And again this describes the emotional ups and downs, and ins and outs of pregnancy.
This week we started our weekly visits at Rabin's office. He said that I Had begun 'effacing' but no dilation as of yet. Cervix was closed, and unless I broke my water no baby soon. I will go back next week to see if any progress has been made.
I also had my yoga photo shoot. I have been doing yoga several times a week at Two Hearts Yoga from my ninth week of pregnancy, and now approaching my thirty eigth week my teacher suggested I bring a camera in to document my progress and accomplishment. I originally thought this sounded very silly, and I was a little embarrassed about it, but it was a tradition for every woman in the class late in her pregnancy so I thought I wouldn't argue, and just brought the camera. I am SO happy I did. As I feel like almost every aspect of my body has gone downhill, and every form of exercise I used to enjoy has become difficult to impossible, my yoga practice has actually gotten better. It is the one physical area of my life that has improved, still feels great, and allows me some time on my own to just be with this baby. I have so appreciated my time at two hearts: the community of pregnant women I have met, the physical challenge it has provided, the equanimity I have found, the room I have made for myself and the baby, and the simple silence. These pictures will be a beautiful reminder of all of these things, and one of the only very positive physical experiences I have had while pregnant.
This week I am not going to make any physical complaints. I am going to say I am so very lucky for having such a smooth and beautiful pregnancy. My body has done what is necessary to carry this baby girl to term. Now at 37 weeks she is full term, ready to be born at any minute, all systems a go... and I feel a sense of joy and pride that we are here. As I can see the light at the end of the tunnel I have decided to soak up these last two weeks of my life that I will be pregnant, and basque in the miracle of pregnancy while looking forward to the miracle of birth.

Merry Madagascar

So proud of David for this amazing accomplishment. So much hard work and sweat equity went into the making of this lovely little special, and I couldn't be more excited to see the premier tonight on NBC. I think a little Julianuary party is in order filled with mini trees and santa balloons. David has invited over a few of his closest crew members to watch, and mom and dad will be there too. We (Isaac and I) are both so very excited for our director, and love every minute of this special special.

Toxic Synovitis

Just when you think you have a handle on parenting, and have seen, heard of, or experienced most of the childhood illnesses that preschoolers so generously share with one and other, you are struck with something so bizarre that it knocks you off your feet.
This past Thursday I picked Isaac up from school. He came running over to me joyfully knowing that he was going to spend the afternoon at Bubie and Papu's house. He went down for his nap, and woke up two hours later unable to put any pressure on his right hip, and unable to walk. I called the doctor immediately who said to bring him in, and low and behold... Toxic Synovitis.

"Toxic synovitis also known as acute transient synovitis of the hip is a condition in which there is inflammation and fluid within the hip joint. It is this swelling and fluid accumulation which causes joint pain. It is a rather common problem with up to 3 percent of children having an episode at some time during their life and may occur in children anywhere from the early toddler to the teenager. However, it usually happens to kids between 3-6 years of age. The exact cause of toxic synovitis is still unknown. The only thing that seems to be consistently associated with toxic synovitis is that many of these children have had an upper respiratory illness shortly before the onset of hip pain. This has led to speculation that the virus which is causing the cold also causes the synovitis. No matter what the cause, almost all children recover within two weeks and without long-lasting effects. Between 4-17 percent of children may have a second episode of toxic synovitis, but this usually occurs within 6 months of the first episode"

And there we have it. The remedy: rest and anti inflammatories. Dr. Shulman thought he would be walking again within 48 hours. He rested, took motirn, and was walking late the next day. It (pardon my language) scared the crap out of David and I, but the entire time Isaac was calm, in great spirits, and enjoyed the couch time to watch movies and eat popcorn. He is back at school today, I am sure running like a maniac with a slight limp, and we are thrilled to have braved yet another viral storm.

34, 35,... 36!

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of events, obligations, celebrations, illness and recovery, and much much more. It seems like time is both speeding by and inching along as we enter this last month of pregnancy. In so many ways I cant believe we are here already, and at the same time as I reflect on the journey it feels like a long one. In the past couple of weeks I have celebrated moms birthday with a special day in the city filled with massage and shopping. I have had my baby shower. We attended the annual Crohns and Colitis dinner fundraiser. I have bought, made, wrapped, with love several holiday and birthday gifts. I have been trying to cram in dinner and lunch with friends. I am still doing yoga several times a week. Keeping myself busy has been a good and important diversion as we near the end and I become more physically uncomfortable and emotionally strung out. My entire pelvic floor, inner groin, and well... lets call it 'fine china' is stretching and pulling, and the pressure from the baby bearing down on the already tender area is incredibly painful. Rolling from one side to the other at night is a major struggle and getting out of bed to go to the bathroom makes me feel like a hobbling 80 year old. Just standing from a seated position is a challenge at this point. The swelling has increased and is becoming more apparent and more uncomfortable. Prilosec has helped with the heartburn, although the indigestion is hanging around. Breathing is difficult. I am often lightheaded, dizzy, and get the shakes from either lack of oxygen or low blood sugar. With all of this said the baby looks wonderful and healthy in the little home I am providing her, and we are on schedule for a mid December delivery. In the next few weeks I look forward to soaking up family time as a threesome, couple time as a twosome, and just the slivers of time I now get as me (slingless, strolerless, spitup less, well rested {sort of}). I am enjoying a world where my boobs are my own, and equally looking forward to the joys and magic of nursing. It seems that each element of this journey is part of its own little dichotomy. In this I find peace. We know what to expect in the coming months and I believe I can speak for the entire family when I say we are ringing with excitement, and terrified to hit the reset button. What we do know as seasoned veterans is that the babies are only babies for such a short amount of time. I cant wait to soak up every minute.

H1N1

After spending the past months listening to the radio, and reading the paper about the threats of H1N1, I was finally vaccinated with the mercury free vaccine. I had been debating weather or not to get the vaccine from Isaac's pediatrician since they offered it to pregnant women (he had the first of two injections last week), but they didn't have the mercury free vaccine. After some debate, I decided to wait it out and finally Dr. Rabin's office got it in. I rushed over, quickly, and after a quick stab in the arm felt some peace of mind. I am fairly certain that the majority of the buzz about the vaccine is hype, but being in my third trimester, and 'high risk', I was happy to finally put it out of my head.

the big guns

It was at this weeks Rabin appointment that I finally asked, is there anything other than tums that I can take for the heartburn and indigestion. I am miserable. To which he responded... oh yeah, take prilosec. And so of course I asked if there was any risk to the baby, which he said no. So I gave it a try, and within 24 hours I had a serious amount of relief. It wasn't completely gone, but there was a noticeable difference. It went from miserable to inconvenient and uncomfortable - but livable. I am hoping this will make the next few weeks much more tolerable and pleasant, and it certainly beats tums.

Showered With Love

How lucky I felt to have all the women I love in the same place at the same time. It was a wonderful way to touch base with so many people that I haven't had an opportunity to see, and who I know I wont see until I come out of my hermetic hybernatic baby state.
The shower was held at the SLS hotel, in the Bazaar's patisserie. It is Alice in Wonderland meets candy shop bliss, and very much a place I adore. We all gathered around a long table and enjoyed tea and creatively made yummy bites (albeit served slowly). It was the perfect mix of friends, family, and food. A big thank you to Erin and Mom for all of the hard work they put into making it such a special event. All of the details were beautifully executed, and made me feel both special and loved. I look forward to showing our girl the wonderful event held in her honor, and taking her for some tea sometime in the probably way too near future.

Isaacisms

Some of Isaac's latest expressions and favorite phrases:

>>> I am so excited.
>>> I am so happy mommy.
>>> Its going to be so much fun mommy.
>>> I'm having so much fun.
>>> I am having a good day.
>>> I love you mommy, daddy.
>>> WHY?
>>> What are we going to do after that?
>>> Where are we going?
>>> What are we going to do?
>>> Which friends will be at school today?
>>> Which direction are we driving? West? East?
>>> What freeway are we on? 101?
>>> So, let me tell you about ___ mommy.
>>> I need to eat my vegetables so I can grow bigger and bigger and bigger like Fursula.

Favorite song: Under the Sea, There was an old lady who swallowed a fly, Slippery Fish

Favorite Restaurant: Mel's Diner

Week 32 & 33 | Miserable

Seems right around week 32 I have hit a bit of a wall. I am just far enough away from my due date for it to seem like an eternity, and have become majorly uncomfortable in my own skin. The weight gain has slowed to almost nothing because of the crazy amount of indigestion and heartburn I have been experiencing. It has gotten to the point that dinner is nearly impossible, breakfast is a struggle and lunch is my only shot at a good meal. I am up to almost 20 tums a day, and the pain and discomfort has become almost to much to deal with. Breathing has become difficult, I am exhausted and feeling very hormonal. The swelling and puffiness has set in, acne has plagued my entire body, my hips are very sore... and well even the 'fine china' is starting to feel a whole lot of pressure.
Now that I have gotten the complaining out of the way, week 32 was filled with a whole lot of Halloween fun (and work) that helped keep my mind off of some of the discomfort. Isaac's school had their annual Halloween Parade where his class dressed up as dragons and princesses. They also had a Halloween dance party, carnival, AND classroom party. On top of that we were invited to a lovely little Halloween party at Isaac's friend Caitlyn's house, and we had the Gehle's and mom and dad over for dinner and trick or treating. By the time Halloween ended I felt like I had run a marathon, and was ready for some rest.
Most importantly Isaac really enjoyed his Halloween experience. After he understood that his friends were wearing costumes, he enjoyed being Max, and a dragon, and loved trick or treating with Stella. They were precious together, and a reminder of the payoff that all of my discomfort will bring.

Week 31 | North

As a final weekend getaway mom and i had planned to head up north to SLO for a couple days. I have been wanting to take Isaac to the farmers market there for quite a while, and I always love visiting the central coast town I called home for several years. It gives me an opportunity to revisit restaurants I loved, beaches that I often think about, and is always a good way to slo down for a couple of days. This time around we stayed in Avila beach, and made use of the wonderful calm inlet. Isaac loved running in the water and under the pier. It was seven years ago that David and I took our first trip together, and it was on this very beach that I have very fond memories of getting to know one and other. We did get a chance to enjoy the farmers market, some great meals, and very unseasonably hot weather. I always enjoy the time away with mom and isaac. I felt very aware this time that it was the last time there would be just three of us, and with that came both sadness and excitement. I have been feeling a complex range of emotions over the past week, and ultimately I have concluded I just need to take it day by day. What seems insurmountable now, will be a new reality soon.
I know everything is possible.




aches and pains of week 31: cold, congestion, insomnia, indegestion, swelling in feet and hands at night, difficulty breating, tightness in lower abdomen

Week 30 | Nursery Time

This week was a huge push to get the office cleaned out, the garage organized, and the nursery in place. Thank god mom was available to help out a couple days. Together we were able to do a huge amount of work in a short amount of time. The garage is fairly organized, many of the large pieces from the office are now in the garage, and the Nursery has a home. Both David and I were surprised how well it worked out. The printers fit perfectly in the closet, the curtain is a great way to conceal the desks, and the room feels spacious and lovely. David and Isaac painted over the weekend bringing a new life to the room with a rosey coral hue. I think for David this made everything seem all the more real (as if the huge belly wasn't enough of a reminder of our #2 to come). Many of my anxieties about preparing the space have been put to rest, and I have been enjoying working in my new little nest. As for the cherry on top... the room is complete with dolls that I so adore they make me smile everytime I see them.

aches and pains of week 30: indegestion, swelling in feet and hands at night, difficulty breating, tightness in lower abdomen

Theo & March

WELCOME!!! Theodore Tommaso Barillaro & Marchello Antonio Barillaro were born September 28th. Mom managed to avoid a c-section, and the boys are healthy and happy. We cant wait to meet you!!!

Dad (dy) and Mom (my)

Somehow over the past week or so Isaac has started calling David 'Dad' instead of 'Daddy'. I for the most part am still mommy with the occasional mom. We are trying to figure out where it came from, or where we picked it up... but it does make us chuckle when he says it. "Dad... where are you. Dad, come here. DAD!" It sounds too grown up for our liking, and we know it will swing in and out of dad (dy) for a long while, but for now just another reminder that he is growing up all to fast.

Looks like a Snail. Looks like a Rocket.

Something clicked a couple weeks ago, and Isaac has been successfully pottying in the toilet time and time again. We are no longer wearing diapers for naps, and he tells us pretty reliably when he needs to go. He definitely prefers to stand for #1, so we have opted for a step stool instead of using the kiddie potty we started with. It seems over the past week #2 has really clicked as well. He understands that he needs to sit to do it, and tends to go back and forth to his little potty several times before he is ready to commit. Ultimately he does go, and then stands up and analyzes his hard work. It always 'looks like ...". Yesterday it looked like a 'snail'. Today it looked like a 'rocket'. David and I simply smile and agree. As far as we are concerned it can look like anything he dreams to imagine... as longs as it lands in the potty.

Weeks 28 & 29 | Montana to Wyoming

589 miles. 5 days. more to come.

Week 26 and 27 | go go go

These past weeks have been a whirlwind. I will say that right around week 26 I felt completely exhausted. So much so that I called Dr. Rabin to ask if I should get my iron drawn, or if there was anything that could be causing it. He said yes, you have a toddler and you are pregnant. I thought for a while and realized he is probably right. With my first pregnancy I wasn't working. I could put my feet up and relax whenever I felt necessary. I took naps and really took care of myself. This time around is a totally different story. I am running back and forth to Isaac's school, running errands, working, slipping in yoga when I can, and caring for Isaac. Seeing that the exhaustion fell right after a week of potty training at home, I thought, Rabin's right. Slow down sister.
Week 27 started with Isaac's 'All about Me' day at school Monday so David and I arrived with a sideshow, his favorite treat (ice cream) and a couple books that he loves right now (three robbers and iggy peck). He loved having all of his friends see photos of him, and dancing to the music of his favorite songs. It was very cute to see him enjoy the spotlight, and feel so comfortable at school. Tuesday I headed to Dr. Rabin's for my favorite gestational diabetes test, an iron test, and my RH injection. Lots of poking and prodding, but baby sounded great, was head down, and everything seemed to be moving along nicely. Isaac and I had a lot of play time in the afternoons as this will be our last week together before Natalia arrives home. He is enjoying 'Zingo', and movies, and is completely edible. Friday, as it always seems to happen the day before we left for our trip, Isaac came down with a fever. He seemed much better after his nap, although it was clear that he wasn't totally himself. It is amazing to hear him tell us that 'he is not feeling so well' and to articulate what doesn't feel good. 'Im hot, Im cold, I feel better'. It feels like it has taken a while to get to this point, but it is so good to be here.


aches and pains of week 26/27: exhaustion, indegestion, swelling in feet and hands at night

25 weeks | summer vacation

Isaac has been off school for the week, and as mentioned in the previous blog, most of the week has been inundated with potty training. It was an especially challenging week given the enormous fires going on which made it impossible for us to venture outside, or even into the backyard to play. The air quality was awful, raining ashes, so we decided to find as many ways to spend our time indoors as possible. On top of the fires, it has been HOT, breaking 100 every day. That kind of weather is pretty unbearable for anyone, but I will say being pregnant adds a whole new level of discomfort. We were lucky to head out of town Thursday and drive up the beach house for some much needed relief. It was WONDERFUL. We were able to spend time outdoors in moderate temperatures. We took an amazing walk on the sand after dinner Thursday night, and spent the morning on Friday watching Isaac get more and more comfortable in the ocean. It was so nice to relax, and I was so thankful to have some help from mom and dad. It provided a cherished break. Isaac didn't want to leave Friday night after dinner, and I was sad to say goodbye too. I hope we are able to head up there again soon and take advantage of our special other home.


aches and pains of week 25: caught isaac's cold, indigestion, heartburn, floating rib pain, congestion

Bye Bye Diapers, Hello Undies. Bye bye Undies, Hello Success

This week was Isaac's summer break, so we decided to take the opportunity to ditch the diapers once and for all. We could sense he was ready, and just needed a little push to get there. We made a big deal about it on Sunday and headed to target to pick out new big boy undies. Of course, he had no interest in the Undies, and much more interest in picking out a truck... but that was to be expected. The week went a little something like this:

Monday: I tried to get him to sit on the potty every 15-30 minutes. He threw a fit every time. It started to turn into a battle. It definitely wasn't the way I wanted to make the transition, so we regrouped.
Tuesday: The day started with Isaac having two accidents, on the couch, and then in his pants. He seemed to be intentionally holding it just to protest. I almost threw the towel in, when David reminded me... this is going to take time. We had a breakthrough with his first #2 on the potty in the afternoon.
Wednesday: We cracked the code. No undies. As soon as the undies were off, and he didn't have the security of the diaper like feeling, he started using the potty. We had no accidents. We went out for lunch, without a problem, and he really seemed to be understanding the concept.
Thursday/Friday: We spent time at the beach house. It became very clear that he preferred standing to sitting for both #1 and #2. We have to work on the standing for #2, but hey, you have to figure that's the way hes been doing it for three years.
Saturday: We have tried bringing back the undies. He has more accidents when they are on, but typically only with #2 and he tells us right away. He is aware of what he SHOULD do, and I think is becoming more aware of his body. He is also not yet comfortable using the public toilets. We have to work on how to solve this seeing that he pees standing up, and cant reach the big toilet, not yet sure how to make it work.

Overall it has been amazing to watch his progress and we are so proud of him. Yet another reminder of how he is no longer our little baby, but rather our little boy. We are cherishing the small things and moments that remind us that he is still only three, and dependent on our love and support. Watching him this morning curl up on the couch with his 'money milk' and 'mr. toots', with thumb in mouth, I thought to myself... he may be sleeping in a bed, and peeing in the potty... but he is still the same scrumptious love we have always known.

'Fursula'

Isaac loves animated movies. It seems like each week there is a new favorite who's characters lead to endless discussions. He has always enjoyed watching little mermaid, and has always asked us to 'fast forward' through any parts that include 'Fursula'. He has recently become interested in watching the end when 'Fursula' grows into a 'giant octopus' and turns 'orange'. This of course has lead to numerous discussions about why 'Fursula' doesn't like fish, why 'Fursula' is 'not a nice person', why 'Fursula' gets so big and orange... This in turn has lead to discussion about jealousy, choices, actions. The past few days he has awoken from each nap and bedtime asking about 'Fursula'. When he saw his giant shadow at dusk on the sand, he reminded me he was 'giant like Fursula'. When he was standing on his cooking stand, he told me he was 'getting giant like Fursula. She is definitely on the brain, for now, I am sure only to be replaced with a new character of interest full of questions and lessons. When Isaac asked me 'why Fursula was not a nice person?' I responded by saying, some people are just not nice people honey. His response... 'and some people are giant orange octopuses'. I chuckled and fell even more in love with my inquisitive little guy. I guess it is that simple. Some things just are what they are.