21 weeks

"The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head."


Andrew is visiting this week, and we just finished watching "Into the Wild"... again. The above quote has resonated with me since the first time I saw the movie. I have always found that experiences that tested me deeply, both physically and mentally, were the only true reminders of my own strength. In this resistance, both organic and manipulated I am always reminded of my own power and potential. I have endured long distance runs, survived my bachelor in architecture, put myself in plenty of situations that forced me to grow... For me, there was no greater experience to measure myself, to 'find myself in the most ancient of human conditions, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head' than that of pregnancy, labor, and delivery. With each day that brings its own set of challenges and difficulties, I am reminded of my strength as a woman, and the ultimate culmination of all of my efforts as I look down the road to childbirth. Pregnancy, with all of its ups and downs, does provide a gift... childbirth. I have had no greater experience in my life, and no greater opportunity to feel strong. For this I am thankful, and feel grateful for the opportunity to experience it once again.
















photo week 21: outside PRADA with uncle Andrew
aches and pains week 21: indigestion, headaches, poor sleep, tight muscles, the beginning of 'floating rib' and morning sickness.

Introducing Princess Seamonkey

I have been waiting to post a blog about our very exciting news until we went for our 20 week ultrasound, and everything checked out. I am so thrilled to say that we did, and it has! We saw the two hemispheres of the brain, the four chambers of the heart, both kidneys, the stomach, a beautiful spine, all fingers and toes... and all three of us (isaac joined us for the appointment) breathed a big sigh of relief. Then after Dr. Agnew looked at every part of the fetus' body, she informed us that we were having a GIRL! That's right, 'no scrotum or balls' she said. I was shocked, David has felt it was a girl all along. My initial instinct was, holy ****! What am I going to do with a girl. I just got used to raising a boy. But very quickly my mind was flooded with ideas pertaining to a life with a little girl, a daughter, and I realized how badly I hoped, although didn't believe, this would one day be a reality for us. And then the tears started to flood.
There was some indication that we may be having a girl over my first trimester. I was so much more sick than I was with Isaac. Vomiting was not an uncommon experience, and it lasted all day long. I would dream that I was having a girl. And David and everyone I knew was convinced from the beginning that it was going to be a she. I just didn't think it was possible for us to make a girl. But we did.
As for how I have been feeling... after week 16 things really shaped up. My energy increased (however I still feel exhausted raising a toddler and being pregnant at the same time). The nausea is gone. Finally. I am not sleeping all that well, although my peeing in the middle of the night has decreased from 5 times a night to 2. I have been doing a lot of prenatal yoga which feels great and has been very rewarding. It is very hard not to be able to get my heart rate above 140, and as all of my cardiovascular strength decreases it is feels great to have some physical abilities increase.
We have told Isaac about the new addition to come. One night when we were reading books I introduced one about babies, then another about being a big brother, and lastly one about a baby growing in a mommy's tummy. After we finished that book he told me he has a baby in his tummy. I laughed, and said... not but mommy does. He lifted up my shirt and said, I dont see one. Looked in my bellybutton and still couldn't see it. I tried the best I could to explain that it was inside, but it was obvious that the concept was very abstract, and for now it was ok to leave it that way. He spent the next three weeks torturing me. Making sure he knew he loved daddy more than mommy. Hitting me in the face. Refusing to sit on me because he would 'hurt the baby'. It was then that we knew, he does get this. It has gotten much better recently. He came to our doctors appoitment today, and after being reassured that he wasn't going to have to sit on the 'change table' or be examined, he seemed happy to go (as long as he could have snacks and sit on daddy's lap). He asked me in the car on the way to the appointment if the doctor was going to take the baby out, and I explained that we had a long time before that was going to happen. Slowly, it seems, we are all figuring this out together.

Princess Seamonkey
20 weeks
3/4 pound
7 inches
due December 14th, 2009

DCFC

We just finished up a fantastic holiday weekend filled with things we love to do and see. Friday we took Isaac to Coldwater Canyon park in the morning. He loved playing in the fountains, and of course had a monster melt down when it was time to leave. We headed for Newsroom for lunch, and then home for a very long nap. Saturday we headed to Silverstrand for the 4th. We spent most of the day on the beach. Isaac played in the sand (he has a new found fear of the ocean), and the Gehle's joined us in the late afternoon for apps, a bbq, and fireworks. The traffic getting out of ventura was nutty, but after patience and a couple hours we made it home. Sunday we went for a hike and a swim, and then saw Michael Mann's newest "Public Enemies". We both love loved it. We headed over the hill to Joan's on Third, picked up a gourmet picnic, and headed to the Hollywood Bowl for the trifecta of "The New Pornographers" "Tegan and Sara" and "Death Cab for Cutie". We decided to do something special and get a couple seats in a box, and wow was it worth it. It was a completely different experience. First of all, you are obviously much closer to the performers, but more importantly it created a very intimate experience that we hadn't had at the bowl. The seats were comfortable, waiters come around and take drink and food orders... it was amazing. The finale was Transatlanticism, with the LA Philharmonic, and a fantastically choreographed fireworks display. It was the perfect way to end the best show I had seen, and a fantastic weekend.

Defiance

Over the past month or so, I have noticed Isaac really beginning to pronounce his new found sense of autonomy. He has always very much been his own person, but in the past has found pleasure in making the 'right' choice. In the past few weeks it is very obvious he is testing what happens if he makes the wrong choice. You can see him wanting to see how far he can push us, he has begun reasoning with us, and very much expressing emotions of feeling 'frustrated' 'cranky' 'sad' 'upset'...
It seems like these moments escalate quickly into head to head battles where David and I stand firm and explain to him the consequences of his choices. It is often centered around cleaning up his toys, switching activities from one to another, not doing something he knows is unacceptable (throwing his food of the table one piece at a time to see how far he can take it). The consequences have been clearly laid out and are usually threatening (and following through) with the removal of something he very much likes. Book time at night, desert, going to the park...
We feel this is an incredibly important stage in his development, but it makes it no more fun to go through. Our hope is that he soon begins to understand the consequences of his actions, and we will no longer have to do the painful dance we have been engaging in. The realist in me knows this is only the beginning of the hard part of parenting that will last many many years.

The Red Room

Today was Isaac's last day in the Red Room with teachers Vanessa and Marybell. As David and I watched through the school's window out to the playground we were amazed in the changes Isaac has made in a few short months. In January Isaac stuck with his teachers, or sat on the bench watching his friends play. Today he ran around playfully, engaged in all activities, and looked like he was having a great time while doing so.
It was an emotional day, saying goodbye to the little classroom where Isaac got his start, but also a joyful one knowing he is leaving a much more self confidant and self sufficient little boy. I felt so proud of all he had acomlished and all he was willing to let into his little world. In just a week Isaac will start into his older two's class with many of his friends from the red room. He knows he is now 'too big' for the red room, and seems accepting of the transition and change that is upon him. I can only hope that his expereince in his new class is as wonderful as the one he just graduated from.

"W starts with Whale"

I have recently noticed little things that spew out of isaac's brain that very much surprise me. Once your child starts going to school, and he begins learning from a much richer fabric of sources and people, he comes home with thoughts and ideas, facts and tidbits that every day make me smile, and beg the question of, where did he pick THAT up.
This morning Isaac brought me the "W" from his alphabet puzzle, and said, "W starts with Whale". Granted, that isn't exactly the case, I understood his intent, and couldn't believe he had picked that up. He proceeded to tell me about other letters, and what they 'start with'.
Other funny little things he has mentioned... 'The turtles at school aren't 'hibernating' any more'. A Bob Marley song came on the radio, and he identified it as a Bob Marley song (apparently something his class dances to at school). He is able to sing from start to finish "Rock-a-bye-baby", "Old Mac Donald", Twinkle Twinkle, ABC, and a slue of other songs often putting himself to sleep by practicing. He knows we live on 'Woodcliff Road'. He understands emotions, what makes him sad and happy, and has become increasingly sensitive to how his actions make others feel. He has a new found interest in sea life and can identify most sea creatures by name. He has new animal friends who must sleep in his crib. They all have spots, and purposes. Beaver must have his own money milk, and is located in the top right side of the crib. Little turtle sleeps in the top middle, and octopus sleeps on the top left side of the crib. Nothing else is to be in the crib.
If you ask him to do something, he just might listen. He can bring you a diaper, clean up toys in the other room, and do small tasks even when you aren't watching over him.
He has come close to memorization on many books and movies. He can point out obscure things in books ( Eiffel Tower, Paris, Baked Beans, Parachutes, Scary Forests, Jupiter) and knows when Ursula is about to appear in The Little Mermaid and demands it is fast forwarded.
He remembers everything that is promised to him and reminds you throughout the day, in detail, verbatim.
I could continue to list because it truly is the most amazing age. Every day there is something I want to jot down, or make a mental note of. He amazes me, keeps me on my toes, and just the thought of him easily makes me smile.
Who knew love could grow. and grow. and grow.

growing and picking our own

This year I really wanted to start a little garden with Isaac, and take a few trips to the farm so that he could begin to make the connection between what we eat and where it comes from. At the beginning of spring Isaac and I planted some veggies from seeds. Tomato, Corn, Long Beans, Carrots, Squash, and Broccoli. We now have lots of vegetable plants very close to pickin'. It has been a wonderful experience for us to water them, and feed them... and it is a good reminder of the time and energy it takes to harvest the things we can so easily purchase at our local market. It has helped me to be more conscious of waste, and has demonstrated to Isaac how long it takes to cultivate the produce we often take for granted.
We also took a trip to Underwood Family Farms to pick our own strawberries. Isaac loved taking each little berry off the stem, and placing it in his container. It took time and energy, and the payoff when we got home was well worth it.
I hope to make this an annual springtime project that Isaac can become more and more involved in as the years pass. I think it is a very important and rewarding experience, and am very thankful for the sun, water, oxygen, soil, and little seedlings that have made it possible.

mama's day

A big thank you to my boys for making mothers day very special. It was one of those perfectly simple days filled with the little things I am known to love. Sleeping in. Homemade waffles. Goofy silly celebration. A big family dinner. And a lot of TLC from David and Isaac.

free to be you and me

David and I have noticed a real change in Isaac this past month. There has been a huge increase in his general energy level. He is like a tornado, circling the house at top speed ALL THE TIME. He runs and runs and runs (claims he is getting exercise) and is mostly interested in very physical activities. David and I are woken every morning with a jump on the bed, and a "GOOD MORNING" or a "HI SWEETIE" at top volume, followed by some toy rolling over our head or back. Then a loud shriek of pleasure... "BYE BYE"... ISAAC'S GOING IN THE LIVING ROOM"..."SEE YOU ALLIGATOR". Then he jumps off the bed and sings some melody he has made up all the way to the living room.
At the park he is climbing more aggressively, trying more challenging activities, and very interested in the many ways he can use a single piece of equipment. He loves going down the slide 'backwards', and has started becoming very good at climbing ladder type equipment. It is obvious he is exploring and testing his physical limits. In addition, he seems much more comfortable in his own skin. He has a different sense of confidence, and is very much able to just be in a moment. He is free.
This past weekend at the beach he spent and hour running in the sand, then rolling in the sand, then lying, and lounging, and climbing... It was an amazing joy to watch him in his element. He spent time independently, just being. Immersed in the cold damp earth below, he seemed very much at peace.

Happy Birthday Daddy

(Isaac and David making 'monster' faces on the Eiffel Tower (lifeguard tower).)

The three of us spent a very playful weekend at the Beach House, kicking back and indulging in everything we enjoy as a family. We has some great meals, enjoyed the sun, read a bunch, frolicked in the sand, and splashed in the sea.
Happy Birthday David. We love you!!! Hope the weekend was filled with all of your loves.

fruit of the loom

Isaac's school's spring parade was the first time he participated in a school wide event independently. I was originally told he was going to be a cucumber, but to my delite, out walked the cutest bunch of grapes I had seen. The kids were all responsible for making their own costumes which included dying, cutting, painting, gluing, and assembling. Once they were complete they were allowed to trade with their friends if they preferred a different costume. Apparently, Isaac prefers grapes.
He seemed fairly overwhelmed throughout the parade, but also aware he was a part of something larger than himself. For a toddler, this is huge. Bubie and Papu surprised him and showed up for a peek at the event before they headed off to Asia. Isaac and I celebrated his big day with strawberry milkshakes at Mel's.

influenza A

We have been through many strange illnesses with Isaac over his two years. Roseola, Croup, Fevers, Numerous Colds, Ear Infection, Diarrhea... the list is long and varied. This latest battle with Influenza A takes the cake. Isaac had the flu shot a little over a month before he caught the virus, I can only presume from school. I went out of town the day the fever presented itself, so David was stuck by himself to deal with our little one forcing him to rearrange work schedule, and play nurse for an incredibly cranky and difficult toddler. Consequently I had a pretty awful pit in my stomach the whole time I was away, and tried to get home on the first flight possible with no luck. I trusted that David was doing everything he can, and that my boys were taking care of eachother, but I wanted to be home doing everything i could.
I think both David and I would agree that our little boy literally left his body for two whole weeks. We did not recognzie influenza isaac. There was no life in his eyes, he hated everything he used to love, he didn't eat a thing for about 12 days, all he wanted to do was watch movies, and lay around. Once the fever broke around day 6, the night time vomitting began. In the middle of the night we would hear a yelp, then a scream, and rush into Isaac vomitting in his crib. This is just about when mom and dad freaked out, and couldn't help but think, is there something wrong with our kid. Even Dr. Shulman showed signs of concern, and ordered various blood tests to be done. (try finding a vein on a two year old). The tests came back A-OK.
A couple days later, a cold, then a cough... and then...
I S A A C I S B A C K ! ! !
Our jumpin' singin' demandin' guy is back. We missed you Isaac! So good that you are a 'happy boy'.

MANDULA

Mom and I did our annual spring trip a couple weeks ago, and headed up to the Canadian PNW for a peek at Vancouver. I have long wanted to spend time here, and get to know the city I have been ever so curious about. I can honestly say after just a few short days here, this is one of the first cities outside of LA I could easily live in. I have always had a fondness for the PNW landscape, the attitude and tempo of those who live there... pair that with O'Canada and one might say - TRIFECTA!
We wondered around various parts of the city with our amazing guide and friend Ros. We spent time in Gastown where stumbled upon MANDULA. Every piece of handmade couture was incredibly strange on the hanger. So strange that you weren't sure how to wear it, or what it was... but after a couple hours of trying on almost every piece in the store, mom and I agreed we were blown away. Each piece is designed in a sustainable fabric, and fits every body type. There are no sizes, labels, or vast color choices. This is a store for basics made from yummy materials, and amazingly interesting cuts. Pieces wrap, and tie, and pucker. They are paired with vintage belts from the 1800 used wars of days past. The gritty combinations of old and new, the smell, the texture... it was a one of a kind experience.
ON TOP OF IT ALL... the designer is HUNGARIAN. She was in the store that day, and loved seeing the pieces on our bodies. I picked out a couple incredibly special pieces (that i am not even sure how to put on), and will cherish them for the rest of my life. Thank you mom for this very specaial birthday treat. I will never forget it.
We went for a celebratory lunch afterwards at the Salt Tasting Room. It was the kind of lunch you can only have on vacation. The one that starts at 2pm, lasts a couple hours, and consists of only wine and cheese. It was super duper lovely.
We spent the rest of the week checking out Granville Market, the newly reopened Museum of Anthropology, Ros beautiful condo where I got to meet her amazing friends (she can party like a rock star), and Hammam massage.
I haven't mentioned, because I wanted to focus on the good, how sick Isaac was when I left. I have saved that for its own blog entry...

the potty

I have been waiting to post to see if our new adventures in potty training were going anywhere, but it seems like little by little we are making some very slow progress. This started a few weeks ago, when we decided to give Isaac some designated 'potty time' every day. We just sat in the bathroom together, and got used to the idea of sitting on the potty. There was much resistance, but then eventually it became something he was asking to do. We now sit on the potty a few times a day, read a book, and most of the time... have some success. There are still wet diapers in between, and he isn't often asking us to use the potty, but we are on our way. Just one more small reminder of how big my little one has become.

horton hatches the egg

Today, on Dr. Seuss' birthday, I decided to give my favorite Seussian treat another go. I do have distinct memories of reading Isaac this book in his first few months, when he would sit on my lap, and fall asleep to the rhythmic intonations in my voice. Then came the limited attention span, followed by the limited interest in anything not car or truck related. I was overwhelmed with joy tonight, when for the very first time, Isaac sat on my lap and enjoyed every single page. When you have a child, and you love books as much as David and I do, you quickly realize that there just aren't that many books that are A. lovely to look at, B. are well written and C. have a story worth telling. This is the TRIFECTA! I think any mother can both identify with the isolation Maysie initially feels, and the determination and loyalty of Horton. In the end we learn, that your offspring are very much a biproduct of your love and commitment. We hope our committment to finding and enjoying good books as a family inspires a love of reading in our beautiful boy.

ABC 123

This week, for the first time Isaac recited the alphabet from A to Z. It sounded exactly like this:
A,B,C,D,E,F,G. H,I,J,K,ELMO,P. Q,R,S,T,U,V. DOUBLE,X,Y,Z.

He has also started counting... up to sixteen (always skipping twelve, and loving number six).

Favorite new songs include "We are the dinosaurs", "The Mickey Mouse Song", and "The dreidel song".

School is vastly improving now that Isaac knows that "Mommy comes back 'always'", and that "Mommy comes back 'after lunch'". His teachers are telling us that he has started participating in activities, and interacting with his classmates.

Isaac has started speaking in sentences. Including verbs, nouns, pronouns, and adjectives. He is differentiating between me, you, I, and "Isaac". He often speaks in third person "Isaac did that", but then follows it up with "I did that". He likes to describe who is doing what. "Mommy cooks cereal for Isaac, Daddy shut the door, Bubbie zipps it up."

He knows the model and color of every person's car we know. Papa's silver "Beetle", Daddy's Silver "Prius", Mommy's Black "Audi", Papu's Red "Ferrari", Nanni and Bea's "Volvo".

"I dont like it" and "That hurts me" have become new favorites. He would prefer a "snack" to a meal any day of the week, and has become a very particular eater, each day developing new likes and dislikes.

He is starting to bring home new behaviors, songs, and words from school. Very interesting to see how and where he picks things up from, and how he uses them in his own world.

Isaac sat, smiling, happy, as he watched "Debbie" cut his hair yesterday. He is becoming more outgoing in many ways, enjoying social interaction with his cousins, and those he knows.

With each day seems to come new discoveries. Both giant leaps an little inching steps towards the boy he is so quickly becoming.

back to the cold

Isaac and I + Ally, Sammy, Jamie, Sherri and Arnie headed to Toronto to celebrate Rebecca's wedding. We packed into the Kohn's house, and snuggled up for five days of fun. Most of it included eating, drinking, and being very merry. Isaac got to spend some time with nanni and papa and had his very first sleepover without mom or dad.

the simple things

Isaac and I have been doing kindermusic for over a year and a half, and so many times Sarah comes up with the loveliest activities. This week, she gave all the kids flashlights, turned the lights off, and let us make our own stars on the ceiling. Sounds simple, and it was, but the look of wonder in Isaac's eyes is somehting i will never forget.

44

Our family went on a walk this past weekend, and I said to Isaac... we are going to have a new president! Can you believe it Isaac... a new president!
His response... "me open" "isaac open it".
David and I looked at eachother, like, huh?
Then he repeated " isaac open present".

We had a chuckle about it, and then explained to Isaac that he was so lucky to be growing up in an age where someone as amazing as Obama can finally be recognized for his character, not his color. That finally, we feel like hope is on the horizon.

Isaac, of course, immediately went back to the present he thought we was receiving. And it was then that I said, you may not literally be opening it... but Isaac, this is the greatest gift you will ever receive.

Obama, family Soren welcomes you with open arms. Thank you for the gift of hope, perseverance, bravery, and love.

Bitten

I picked a fantastic week to spend time in the windy city... the last time the city was this cold was in 1994 - 15 years ago, when the high was minus 11. I was graced this week with average temps of minus 17. I had never been in temps that cold, so I didn't understand that it takes about 30 seconds before the frost bite kicks in, and I was graced with lots of it. Burning patches of red showed up all over my legs and behind...
So I scrambled for emergency boots, gloves, ear muffs... and still, couldn't spend more than about a minute or two outside without feeling physical pain. It was unlike anything I have experienced, and I am a Canadian. (granted a Californian version... still a Canadian who has spent lots of winter weeks in Toronto).
This was cause for lots of creative indoor activities. Hit every museum there was... lots of good dining experiences: Alinea, Blackbird... Met a good old friend at Murpheys, finally found a cubby hat, drank lots of Gooseneck...
Mostly, having extreme experience like that reminds you of the living conditions of others, and makes you feel so thankful for what you DO have.
Good to be home.

baby mine

The start of preschool last week came the start of one very difficult transition. As Isaac's mother I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but I wasn't fully prepared for just how difficult it was going to be. Isaac is, and has always been, slow to warm. When injected into new situations, it takes him a while to feel comfortable. Add on the first time he has ever been separated from his mother, and it has created an all out panic situation. Each day we have tried it has gotten, s l i g h t l y, easier, but he is still not enjoying himself or immersing himself in any activities.
As a mother, watching your child struggle, suffer, feel lonely, scared, abandoned, etc... has to be the absolute worst feeling in the world. I try to remind myself, that again, struggle is imperative for growth, and as Barb always reminds me, this too will pass.
For now we are taking it one day at a time, and trying to establish trust and built confidence. I do so badly want to sweep him up in my 'trunk', dry his eyes, and rock my baby... but for now I will try to stay behind the glass, observe, and know that in the end we will all grow to be stronger family.

the bare necessities

Flash Slideshow

As Baloo says in the Jungle Book, "Look for the bare necessities".
In our great friends, these are so graciously met.
Gehles, Thank you for walking along side us on Isaac's very special day.

good things

The following are a list of good things that the collective we have discovered this holiday season. Thought I would share the love and pass them along:

rideau winery's petit syrah
ok... so the woman pouring our wine tasting was annoying, but we did learn that petit syrah was one of only two grapes that are both red skinned and red fleshed. the syrah grape is even white fleshed. red flesh = some pretty tasty wine.

theory outlet store
they were having a massive post holiday blowout, but if you are in need of some basic button down dress shirts, the fit is pretty amazing. at 50-75 percent off, well worth it.

the wrestler
most surprising, wonderful, raw, beautifully shot, and perfectly acted movie i have seen this year. i did have to cover my eyes for a couple scenes, but i was so happy we finally made it to the pre-screening. this movie celebrated the blurred line between your calling (what you do) and your soul (who you are). also reminded me that life is very much about those you share it with. on top of all of that, evan rachel wood, and marisa tomai... wowza.

hungarian drinking chocolate:
my hanukkah gift exchange treat for leila, this turned out to be absolutely delicious and a fantastic nod to our roots.

lacoffeemill
simply devide. silverlake at its finest. must go back for lunch or dinner. best cappiciono outside of florance. minimal beautiful design.

trip for two

Thank you Nanni and Papa for making isaac's Toronto birthday and hanukkah so very special. He is still talking about your boat, the trucks you saw, the 'snow lady' he made, and can amazingly count to 14.
All our love,
Hailey, David and Isaac

Flash Slideshow

HNY

Wishing those we love a..


BIG


BEAUTIFUL


BOUNTIFUL


2009.

adventures in wine

When you spend time with people you love, time just goes by too fast. I spent the last couple days in Santa Ynez with leila at a romantic bed and breakfast. I think we did finally convince the inn manager that we were cousins, and no more :)
Upon arriving, we decided to rent bikes and go wine tasting. Isn't that what you are supposed to do? Seemed responsible... eliminating the possibility of drinking and driving. Experiencing the wine country a little closer to the earth...
I will say when we mentioned the idea to the inn manager, and when we went to the bike rental store... both seemed to be less than enthusiastic about the idea, but also said that it would be a 15 minute bike ride from winery to winery. Leila and I, both in reasonable shape, thought this seemed doable, so we rented, mounted, and rode on.
Fourty Five minutes later we arrived at winery #1, sunstone winery, a winery I was very interested for their organic vineyard and sustainable farming practices. The bike ride there through the rolling hills and vineyards, and the tuscanyesque quality of the actual vineyard were dreamlike. Their Eros blend was the highlight of my tasting. Sunstone is known for their Merlot (a wine i never drink) but when blended was really delicious.
After we were done with our tasting, we hopped back on the bikes and headed toward our next vineyard. We were expecting a quick bike ride, but 1.5 hours later against heavy head winds, and having to get assistance from a fellow biker, we arrived exhausted and cranky. Everyone at this vineyard asked questions from... "are you guys morman? to "why are you biking"? We called the inn and requested a pickup. No way in hell we were biking back.
We took a hot tub, participated in the 60 and over wine and cheese tasting, and went of for a delicious dinner at Trattorio Grappolo. Shared a bottle of wine. Then headed to the next door Saloon for a look into the local life of a Santa Ynez cowboy. Leila and I line danced, had a couple drinks, and headed out.
The next day we headed out to the beach house stopping at La Super Rica for tacos. Totally relaxed at the beach house, hit the outlet mall on the way back to LA, and spent the rest of our time doing a whole lot of blissful nothing.
As always, a wonderful visit filled with adventure and love.

2

2!
Happy Birthday Beautiful Boy.

Flash Slideshow

struggle

It is 12:03am, and I can't sleep.

So many thoughts are running through my head. Mostly related to Isaac and his upcoming birthday. How quickly he is growing up. The new transitions we will be facing in the upcomming year. If he is feeling ok after a very difficult few days.
Lets start with the croup. After I blew off his wheezing, my mom finally convinced me to take him to the doctor, and sure enough he had a very bad case of croup. Dr. Shulman suggested an injection of steroids followed by an oral dose for two days. Isaac who was already under the weather, did not cope well with the injection, or the entire doctor office experience. Both mommy and son left very shaken.
There are few moments as a parent when you feel truly helpless. When all you can do is be there to comfort your child, to tell them the truths of life, and to do your best to explain what is going to happen and why it needs to happen. After promosing Isaac in the waiting room that we weren't at the doctors for a shot, and then watching his expression as he learned he needed one, I felt that I truly let him down. All I could do was explain that I made a mistake, and learn that those types of promises are just not within my power to make.
The croup seems to be on the mend after a few scary days of difficult breathing and very dark eyes. As I lay in bed tonight staring at the ceiling my mind started racing to preschool. The transition to, and the changes that come with it. I feel so lucky to have been able to spend as much 'at home' time with Isaac as I have. I absolutely see the value in his starting preschool, the lessons he will learn, the socialization... but everytime I think about dropping him off, and parting ways, tears start to well up in my eyes. As fiercly independant as he is at home, he has always been slow to warm at school. He is kind, observant, introverted, and very attached to me. He has not yet caught onto how to stick up for himself, and I know there are kids that will take advantage of his easy going nature. The motherbear in me wants to always be there to protect him, and teach him how to deal with difficult sitations. The reality is... without me, he will be forced to learn how to cope with those situations in his own way. I can only hope that his new teachers will understand and respect who he is, a very special little person, and help guide him through all the struggles that come his way.
Struggle is so important. It teaches us how to problem solve, and become confidant human beings. I have always encouraged Isaac to try and work through his struggles independantly. If he needs help, I try to guide him. My hope is this new journey provides him with enough resistance to grow, enough support to stand tall, and enough variety of experience to have fun in a social setting.
Mostly, I just hope he knows how much I love him. That I am not abandoning him. And that the bond we share, the lessons I have tried to teach him as a parent, and the respect that I show him each and every day helps to make the expereince a positive one for the both of us. As Isaac enters his first year of school I am sure it will be a learning experience for the both of us, and one that can only make us stronger.

the invite

thanks daddy soren
for a spledid party invite
for our little love.

'Gas-Car' 2

We have been debating for quite a while about when we wanted to take Isaac to his first movie, and on this rainy eve of thanksgiving we decided to give it a try.We went to the 5:20 showing of Madagascar two. Isaac got his very own popcorn. We watched the previews, and surprisingly, he enjoyed the movie right up until he ran out of popcorn. He laughed at the jokes, called out when he saw familiar things, clapped his hands when he liked the music, and in total really seemed to enjoy the experience.I thouroughly enjoyed watching Isaac's reaction to the movie, but what was even more fun was seeing the look on David's face as he saw Isaac squeal with delight over something so important to him. As he said to Isaac on the way into the theater... this is the first of MANY MANY movies we will enjoy together.

the girls

Great weekend with the girls at the beach house. We enjoyed the sunset, wine and cheese, some funny birds and a very strange male photographer, a lovely dinner at Brooks, bonding time, breakfast at the surf shack...
Each of you are unique and lovely in your own light. As we sat on the couch story telling and sharing I thought to myself, if I had to describe each of you in one word what would it be. Here is what I came up with.
Jen. Sunshine.
Elyse. Steadfast.
Erin. Prudent.
I love and admire each of you. You bring to my life qualities that I respect and continue to strive for.
All my love.

happy birthday mom!

happy birthday mom!

this picture makes me smile...
hope it does the same for you.
xo.

OH!-bama

artwork by shepard fairey : obey giant.

"This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we cant, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people"

Yes We Can.


congratulations. i knew you could do it. now lets get this party started...

creeping up on two

We are rapidly approaching the two year mark, and every day this parenting thing becomes more and more fun. Isaac has become very interactive. He is able to participate in some capacity in almost everything we do. He is no longer just along for the ride, but very much riding shot gun. He is making the most amazing connections between things. His memory and language are both astonishing and confidence is slowly growing alongside his autonomy.

Some of his favorites de jour:
- trucks trucks cars trucks
- anything dirty, the word dirty, dirty trucks, pointing out dirt
- 'pea balls', hot dogs, noodles, meatballs, ice pops
- "me" "mine" "me eat" "me night night"
- cars, the movie
- "max" from where the wild things are
- doing 'art... outside'
- naming what colors things are: black, white, blue, red, pink, green
- saying hello and goodbye, and giving high fives
- really delicious hugs and kisses where he holds your hair and pulls you towards him
- an insane love for chocolate
- 'neck' (giraffe) turtle, 'manda' (panda)
- 'money milk' or 'money' his blanket

He is repeating almost any word you say and everyday is using more and more of them. Mostly he just seems very content. Of course there are days of total mayhem, tantrums, dissent... and well yes... he can be a total pain in the ***... but hes our pain in the *** and we cant wait to see whats next.

Tdot

Just returned from a trip to Toronto to see Leila and family. As hesistant as I was to leave after just leaving Isaac, it was so much fun to spend some relaxing time with my girls. We completed season one of Gossip Girls, Gossiped, and well... didn't do much else. OK... we did go for a beautiful long walk down a fall tree lined path that reminded me that there are seasons in other parts of the world. Each day I was there the temperature dropped another 10 degrees, and on the last day... snow had arrived. Happy to get back to nintey degree sunny California, but as alaways, sad to leave those I love.
Pooner... Till 122208... I love you.

NYC party of 3

It had been a while since I had been back to NY, so I was very much looking forward to exploring the city outside of business travel. My (our) first baby-less trip was filled with adventure, exploration, independence, frienship, food, architecture, art, shopping, walking, and a whole lot of talking.
David caught the plague of 2008 prior to my leaving. This in combination with an insane work schedule made it impossible for him to join which meant I was flying solo.
Our party of three did pretty well considering, and I felt lucky to spend my time in such good company. Both of my Gehle's were incredibly gracious in including me throughout, and I inturn tried to be the best third wheel I knew how :)

A special thank you to Raylene and Fil who planned a fantastic night in Brooklyn for their Cali guests. Seeing you two always reminds me of what great company I kept while in school. You both continue to inspire and propel my behind forward. Looking forward to repaying the kindness upon your next trip to the sun. xo. All my love.

my little love. my little partner.

At 22 months, Isaac is now a boy. Babyhood is out the door... and toddlerhood is rearing its head. With each new word, new expression, new movement, I am reminded how sweet life is, and how in love with him I am. Yesterday I got my first 'love you'. He can now tell us when he 'poos', what he wants, and stories from the day before. His memory has kicked into full gear, and he is starting to repeat almost anything you say. He is dancing, jumping, spinning, climbing. He is starting to play independently with his cars... and makes up stories. He loves 'hat dags' and 'noodos'. More and mine are keywords. He can say his own name. He knows where 'home' is, and that 'yaya'(ella) and 'peepee'(chiefie/miles) are there. He can throw a full fledged toddler tantrum. He has started cooking with me, sprinkling 'dirt' (salt and pepper) onto our food. He loves the movie cars. Elmo is also a hit. He knows 'nanny' and 'papa' live in the snow. Can still identify everyone by their car. Loves 'b' and associates her with anything sweet (cake, ice pops...) School has been a great adventure, and he continues to enjoy the 'tutle' goats, and activities.
Every day he makes me laugh.
He is my little love. My little partner.

'tata'

I have been waiting a little while to write this entry because i was worried it was too good to be true... but since it is Natalia's birthday I will post. Natalia (tata) could not be more lovely, more maternal, more caring, (i could go on here for a long time). Her energy and patience suits Isaac's persistent personality. Her willingness and availability make it possible for me to work freely and guilt-freely. Natalia is here from Mexico to study acting, and in the meantime has been helping with the caretaking of Isaac in the afternoons. Isaac adores her. He loves doing 'art' and going on 'walks' and Natalia truly seems to enjoy the time she spends with him.
Tata. Happy Birthday. We are so happy to have you as a part of our family. Thank you for all of your kindness and generosity with our most precious boy.

my best friends wedding

For the 13 years I have known Chris, he and I have consistently had lunch or dinner a few times a month. Throughout the years, I have seen him in and out of relationships and have tried my best to give him sound advice, support, and love. He in return has offered me the same. I can easily say that Chris is the most generous person I know, and the most concerned and attentive friend. It was a pleasure to trek down to San Diego, Isaac in tow, to celebrate Chris' union to Jacqui.
The wedding, like Chris, was filled with warm and lovely people. I finally had the opportunity to meet and spend time with his parents and brother, and was able to connect many faces to many names.
Chris, welcome to the other side :) All my love.

b2

I woke up this morning, and immediately searched for the photo that was taken of me and Stella the day she was born. I spent a while looking at it, and my brain started to wander. So much has changed in these past two years. OK. So the obvious. Stella is bigger. I am smaller (and well, not 5 1/2 months pregnant). I have a baby of my own.
Then I started thinking about Stella. About the life that our family shares with hers. About the beautiful extended family that I feel so grateful for. About her love, her warmth, her laugh. Of all the things she has taught Isaac. About all the things she has taught me. About the many times that Shawn and Erin have turned to me and said... just wait... and then four months later... it hits. About swimming, and the beach, many many rounds of old mac donald. About singing in the back seat, tickling her toes, and just recently watching her go off to school.
Its about all the little slivers of time I get that cast a very rosy glow on this life. B... I love you. I am so proud of you. Watching you grow has been a privilege, and my true pleasure.
Here's to two. Cheers!

"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself."

the happiest place on earth

Yesterday we headed to Anaheim to celebrate Miss. Bea's second. Traffic on the way there was a breeze and getting into the park equally as straightforward. Isaac came into the day with the sniffles, so i was a little concerned that he may not have the best time, but he was a joy. Despite not feeling well, he really seemed to have the best time, and I was so happy we chose to go.
Upon entering the park, we were immediately greeted by a couple lifesize chimpmunks that put Isaac into complete meltdown mode, and I immediately thought to myself... this is going to be a VERY LONG day. A train ride took us over the the kiddy area... "somethingland" where our little ones flew on dumbo, and enjoyed the carousel. One terrible lunch later and both Stella and Isaac actually napped (this was the key to a pretty wodnerful afternoon). While the kids napped the adults relived their preteen years with a ride on thunder mountain and space mountain. Then lots of ice cream for all followed by the parade. Isaac warmed up to the idea of lifesize animals dancing and singing and both kids clutched onto their minnie and mickey mouse treasures while watching the train go by in awe. We braved a few more rides, and decided to end the day on a high note around 6:00. Off for a quick dinner at Mimi's (no link requred here) where isaac was completely hysterical throwing water all over himself, and then to a very noisy car ride home (where isaac would not stop talking about every single thing he saw all day). In the end I ushered him into his crib, and he was out for the count... until 10am this morning when we woke him up.
I think all of us would say that the day was amazingly fun, and went incredibly smoothly given the fact we were traveling with a large group and two toddlers. Mom, Dad, and Rachel... thank you for all of your help and support. You're generosity and kindness is unparalleled.

AND MOSTLY... thank you Stella for the joy you bring to our lives. You are very much one of the great loves of my life, and I look forward to every chance I get to feel your warmth.

nanny and bapa

lucky duck. isaac got a very special visit from 'nanny' and 'bapa' this week. it was the first time that he was able to say their names (or his version of their names) and clearly seemed to remember who they were from his skype conversations with them. we spent the week around town at the bergamot station, the beach house, and katsu-ya... and they enjoyed a lot of downtime around the house.
thank you paul and barb for a wonderful visit. we hope our new house was more comfortable for you, and that you will be back soon.

discovery school

Isaac and I recently started the mommy and me program for the discovery school. We have been going on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:15-11:15. It is definately a huge time commitment, but the time goes by fast and the longer we are there the more we like it. The mothers all seem very down to earth, and Isaac as been learning lots of new social skills. We spend the time singing, playing with toys, reading in a circle, playing outside in the different playgrounds, and visiting the schools petting zoo. Isaac is particularly fond of the turtles ("tootel") and the goats ("baa"). The repetitive nature of the class seems to work for him, and the teachers have been very supportive and nurturing. We are almost done with our first session and are starting our second a week from today. More stories to come.

eighteen months

This expression says it all. In the past months as I have watched him grow from a baby into a little boy... i have been enveloped in joy. He has been a fantastic partner through my days. Understanding. Kind. Patient. Authentic. Sensitive. Nourishing. and. Oh, so much fun. He is very clear and consistent when it comes to his likes and dislikes. He gives all of himself to those he trusts and loves. He is skeptical of those he doesn't. He adores ernie, elmo, and elephante. (the "e" trifecta) He enjoys music, dancing, and sings along to the elmo's world theme song. Just last night iz and I practiced our coordinated routine to "sexy back" (papu would be proud). It involves spinning in circles, the moon walk, running towards eachother and slapping high five then dropping to the floor in laughter. Crazyfun.
His vocabulary is rapidly developing. "Bubie" is a very popular one right now. All X5, M6, and Ferrari get a "Bubie" shout out from the back seat. "Meow" = cat. "Moo" = cow. "Ssss..." = snake. "Neigh" = horse. "Bow wow" = dog. "Boll" = ball. "Momo" = elmo. "Nananana" (elmo theme song) = elmo. "Nana" = banana "Vroom"= truck
The list is long...
Isaac has been enjoying swimming. He is starting to dunk his head. He had his first shower this week. He hates anyone touching behind his ears, hated his hair being cut, didn't like Dr. Shulman probing him, and wants nobody touching his "tutu" ;)
He loves to give kisses and hugs, he does a fabulous eskimo kiss. Is more than happy to lift your shirt to show you your belly button. And is a little lover.
He is getting more comfortable with separating. Today was the first day at gym day care with no tears, and he is getting along swimmingly with Jill. Blankie is the end all be all, and 3.5 hour naps are the standard.
I feel like each day he is working on something new. And each day I am reminded of all the little things I take for granted.
Isaac, thank you for all you have given me. Never thought I would say this, but hangin' with a 18month old has taught me more about life than anything I have ever done.

ILS:: 18 months:: 23lbs (20%) 33" (75%)

looking up

"A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station."
-Bill Cosby

Happy Fathers Day to an absolutely dedicated father. You truly are the man that Isaac looks up to. It is with each Prius that passes, and the little "daddy" i hear from the backseat that I am reminded of your bond to one and other. Every evening at 5pm when Isaac starts chanting your name... and then when the door finally swings open and he bolts towards it... love is everywhere.

You make fatherhood look as simple and natural as it could. Thank you for making my job as a mother easier, and for everything you are to our son and our family.
We love you.

xo.
h+i

taste of the nation

Taste of the Nation is an event that I have wanted to participate in for years. It seems like each year there is a reason why we cant make it, but this year I promised myself that we were going to find a way to make an appearance.
Taste of the Nation brings together the most creative culinary minds across the country in order to support an effort to end childhood hunger. This was the 20th year the event was held on behalf of Share our Strength, and over 70 million dollars has been raised.
The Sorens spent an afternoon enjoying the creations of hundreds of chefs and wine makers in Southern California. Tent after tent suprised and delighted me each with its own perfect amuse bouche.
David's favorite: Joe's Restaurant (on abbot kinney) passion fruit tapioca with shaved coconut granita
Hailey's favorite: Bottlerock's white truffle and cheddar grilled cheese sandwhich
Isaac's favorite: Napa Valley Grill's heirloom tomato salad
Always fun to discover new restaurants in your city, and to meet the chefs that make it all possible. For me, and absolute delight.

SATC the movie.

Friday night my girls arrived one by one to join me in seeing the long awaited SATC the movie. Elaine, Elyse, Jennifer, and Erin stopped by Woodcliff for a cosmopolitan and a lot of laughs (mainly directed at my clumsiness). We quickly headed off to Firefly for dinner, three bottles of wine, and a whole lot of silliness. I was so pleased that all of these women got along with such ease. I always worry when I bring my girlfriends together - seeing that they are from such different walks of my life, but everyone just seemed to gel. The movie wasn't anything to write home about, but the experience is one is one I will never forget. Thank you my beautiful friends for making the night so special, and for treating me with such kindness on this belated birthday celebration.

seperation

The past couple weeks (actually since we moved) Isaac has developed a serious case of separation anxiety. I noticed it Tuesday morning when i tried to leave him at my gyms day care... and there way no way. The minute I put him down, he started screaming. I didn't even leave the room and he was anticipating what was about to happen. I tried to leave twice, and there was no way. Then last night I had our babysitter Emily come over a couple hours before I had to leave for dinner, and Isaac screamed the entire time. As a mother, this tore me apart. What to do? Let him work through it, dont "abandon" him? I dont know the answer. I am workng through it too. I hope in the next little while, Isaac builds the confidence necessary to assert his independent self when Im not around. Hopefully, like all other things, this too is a stage that will pass.

my raybean

My girl, Raylene, from the days at Cal Poly has been a continuous inspiration to me throughout the years. In her eccentric dabblings and love, we have managed to share a closeness that I adore. Her obsession with travel, the city, and any myriad of sensuous things has allowed Raylene to create a world around her that smiles back on her experiments. She is constantly reinventing herself, and finding new ways to define what architecture means to her. In her latest (several years in the making) undertaking, ray ray has created a series of tape drawings on translucent film. It is a narration about her travels through NYC, SF + LONDON. Back lighting makes the pieces come alive. In my last trip to NY, and to her studio, I could only smile. This undertaking is all Raylene. In its quiet beauty and romantic voice, she has managed to light me up. The cumulation?: Her first gallery opening @ Art Engine in San Francisco. If there is anyway i could be there (and trust me I have tried to figure it out), I would go. And for you girl... i would wear bells. And a pink wig. And my heart on my sleeve.
dj raybean: congrats! thank you for reminding me of the importance of exploration and rediscovery. You are it my lover of life!

Art Engine. 1035 Mission Street. San Francisco. CA. 415.863.5556. Through June 24, 2008