adventures in wine

When you spend time with people you love, time just goes by too fast. I spent the last couple days in Santa Ynez with leila at a romantic bed and breakfast. I think we did finally convince the inn manager that we were cousins, and no more :)
Upon arriving, we decided to rent bikes and go wine tasting. Isn't that what you are supposed to do? Seemed responsible... eliminating the possibility of drinking and driving. Experiencing the wine country a little closer to the earth...
I will say when we mentioned the idea to the inn manager, and when we went to the bike rental store... both seemed to be less than enthusiastic about the idea, but also said that it would be a 15 minute bike ride from winery to winery. Leila and I, both in reasonable shape, thought this seemed doable, so we rented, mounted, and rode on.
Fourty Five minutes later we arrived at winery #1, sunstone winery, a winery I was very interested for their organic vineyard and sustainable farming practices. The bike ride there through the rolling hills and vineyards, and the tuscanyesque quality of the actual vineyard were dreamlike. Their Eros blend was the highlight of my tasting. Sunstone is known for their Merlot (a wine i never drink) but when blended was really delicious.
After we were done with our tasting, we hopped back on the bikes and headed toward our next vineyard. We were expecting a quick bike ride, but 1.5 hours later against heavy head winds, and having to get assistance from a fellow biker, we arrived exhausted and cranky. Everyone at this vineyard asked questions from... "are you guys morman? to "why are you biking"? We called the inn and requested a pickup. No way in hell we were biking back.
We took a hot tub, participated in the 60 and over wine and cheese tasting, and went of for a delicious dinner at Trattorio Grappolo. Shared a bottle of wine. Then headed to the next door Saloon for a look into the local life of a Santa Ynez cowboy. Leila and I line danced, had a couple drinks, and headed out.
The next day we headed out to the beach house stopping at La Super Rica for tacos. Totally relaxed at the beach house, hit the outlet mall on the way back to LA, and spent the rest of our time doing a whole lot of blissful nothing.
As always, a wonderful visit filled with adventure and love.

2

2!
Happy Birthday Beautiful Boy.

Flash Slideshow

struggle

It is 12:03am, and I can't sleep.

So many thoughts are running through my head. Mostly related to Isaac and his upcoming birthday. How quickly he is growing up. The new transitions we will be facing in the upcomming year. If he is feeling ok after a very difficult few days.
Lets start with the croup. After I blew off his wheezing, my mom finally convinced me to take him to the doctor, and sure enough he had a very bad case of croup. Dr. Shulman suggested an injection of steroids followed by an oral dose for two days. Isaac who was already under the weather, did not cope well with the injection, or the entire doctor office experience. Both mommy and son left very shaken.
There are few moments as a parent when you feel truly helpless. When all you can do is be there to comfort your child, to tell them the truths of life, and to do your best to explain what is going to happen and why it needs to happen. After promosing Isaac in the waiting room that we weren't at the doctors for a shot, and then watching his expression as he learned he needed one, I felt that I truly let him down. All I could do was explain that I made a mistake, and learn that those types of promises are just not within my power to make.
The croup seems to be on the mend after a few scary days of difficult breathing and very dark eyes. As I lay in bed tonight staring at the ceiling my mind started racing to preschool. The transition to, and the changes that come with it. I feel so lucky to have been able to spend as much 'at home' time with Isaac as I have. I absolutely see the value in his starting preschool, the lessons he will learn, the socialization... but everytime I think about dropping him off, and parting ways, tears start to well up in my eyes. As fiercly independant as he is at home, he has always been slow to warm at school. He is kind, observant, introverted, and very attached to me. He has not yet caught onto how to stick up for himself, and I know there are kids that will take advantage of his easy going nature. The motherbear in me wants to always be there to protect him, and teach him how to deal with difficult sitations. The reality is... without me, he will be forced to learn how to cope with those situations in his own way. I can only hope that his new teachers will understand and respect who he is, a very special little person, and help guide him through all the struggles that come his way.
Struggle is so important. It teaches us how to problem solve, and become confidant human beings. I have always encouraged Isaac to try and work through his struggles independantly. If he needs help, I try to guide him. My hope is this new journey provides him with enough resistance to grow, enough support to stand tall, and enough variety of experience to have fun in a social setting.
Mostly, I just hope he knows how much I love him. That I am not abandoning him. And that the bond we share, the lessons I have tried to teach him as a parent, and the respect that I show him each and every day helps to make the expereince a positive one for the both of us. As Isaac enters his first year of school I am sure it will be a learning experience for the both of us, and one that can only make us stronger.

the invite

thanks daddy soren
for a spledid party invite
for our little love.