Lemonade - See you later Twenty Eleven

OK, so this is the worst photo of me on the planet, I am stanting in the foreground so I look enormous, I am strangely cocked sideways, and we just finished up a hike so I am sweaty and disheveled, BUT it is the most recent photo of the four of us, and every one of us are feeling good and making strides in our own way. On this simple hike through Joshua Tree it really felt like we had two little people along with us. Isaac hiked the entire thing himself, and would have done it again. He has an amazing amount of energy and coordination and really loved being outside amongst a new landscape. Coco chatted the entire time, telling me she wanted to go down, climb too... she was clearly not thrilled with being 'packed' for the ride, but it just made more sense for the rocky terrain that we were climbing.
2011 has been a rough year. Probably the roughest we have had. David had surgery, my father in law battled throat cancer, David's grandmother passed away, it took Coco longer to walk and talk then I ever thought possible, the economy is crap - it seemed like we were encountering one thing after the next and just when we thought it couldn't get any worse, it just did. And now that I have said that I can honestly say that 2011 was filled with an unlimited amount of joy. With each struggle we faced there was triumph, AND having to struggle in the first place made the triumph all that more sweet. The kids both made huge strides, David's movie has been moving forward with amazingly positive momentum, and I have been able to sustain myself professionally in a rich, creative, and mostly pleasurable way.
We are making it work. In fact we have gotten so good at making lemonade that we should start selling it. As we approach a new year with new hopes and new ideas of what may lie ahead I feel confident that as a family we can get through anything. We feel more united as ever, steadfast in supporting one and other, and trying to maintain a relative sense of lightness and humor in all things challenging.
I will leave you with two short clips - the difference between my son and daughter, and the reason I am so grateful to have one of each...

cinco

When I used to fantasize about the idea of having children, I often thought of those children being five and two. It seemed like those were the perfect ages, although I had no experience with children, or with parenting. Tomorrow when Isaac turns five we will have officially reached the five and two milestone, and I have to say, this is the exact dreamy happy place I imagined it to be. Isaac has recently gained a sense of maturity that often takes me aback. He is somewhere between a child and a kid, still in love with me and needing of support and comfort while fiercely independent and very able to take care of all of his basic needs. He is so smart, and observant, and his memory is beyond amazing. He recalls things we did years ago, or things I said months after I said them. His observant nature often manifests as trepidation, he thinks through things thoroughly and realistically understanding possible outcomes in a way that often reminds me of how very alike we are. On our recent trip to Disneyland there was barely a ride he wanted to go on because of all of the potential dangers or scary aspects of a ride. I remember being that age, and well being the age I am now, and sharing that sense of anxiety about the unknown. Isaac is thoughtful and emotional, he is sensitive and so loving of his sister, he is active and energetic, a very visual learner who is starting to recognize site words and and showing an interest in reading. Isaac has started Karate this year and has shown great dedication to the sport. He looks forward to going every week (of course we do get frozen yogurt afterward) and has just earned his first yellow belt. He also loves attending the kids yoga class every Sunday as I go next door to the adult one. He seems to gravitate toward individual sports (as I always did) and inward looking ones. He is a person that I really enjoy being around - for the most part - and someone I am so very proud to call my son. As we approach Kindergarten next year I am excited for him. He is ready, and he will do well. He makes friends easily, he is very likeable, and he has a very active interest in learning. Isaac really loves his family. He and Coco have started to play together and interact in a meaningful way. He shows compassion and deep commitment for us and so clearly would rather be with no one else. Isaac Louis I love you x 5

the sweetest rose

If I was looking at my kids personalities objectively, I would say that Isaac is so very much like me. Strong willed, intense, cautious, committed, easily disgruntled, playful, not so easy to please, incredibly loving... I see so much of myself in him, and of course so many things that all all his own. When it comes to Coco she is the person I always wished I could be: easy going, amazingly likable, trusting, willing to engage all, persistent but has the ability to move forward when its time, fun- very fun, constantly smiling, deeply loving, simply happy to be alive.
I have had the true honor of spending the last two years with this little person and I can easily say she has taught me more about myself than anyone I have ever met. Through every obstacle she has faced she has met it with strength, will, and determination. The quality I find most mind blowing is her ability to remain positive, happy, and engaged. She is clearly committed to learn and grow, while at the same time is able to have fun in the process. She looks at each day for what it is, a new opportunity, and her ability to be present in each moment has reminded me of what I need to work on. Coco and I have been pretty inseparable, a true team fighting for every step and every word. When we encountered hurdles she just kept going and often supported me and reminded me that she was not only ok, but so far better than that.
I know that we are told that we shouldn't be friends with our kids. We are their parents, not their buddies. I am pretty sure with Coco I have broken every rule in the book, and I really don't care. I can easily say that she is the kind of friend I never knew I could have. Together we have fought, and we have won. I am happy to say that today, at age 2, the gap between Coco's development, and those of a typically developing two year old is very narrow. Most who meet her would never know she had delay. She is starting to use two and three word phases when speaking. We reduced her speech therapy to once a week upon the recommendation of her speech therapist who thinks she can stop all together. We are working on walking up and down stairs, climbing, jumping, and other gross motor development, but I know it will all come, and I don't give a hoot if it doesn't. She is perfect just the way she is.
Dear Coco,
Thank you for reminding me that life is about the journey, not about the destination. Every day with you is a gift I often don't feel deserving of. You are pure light. Your smile is infectious, and your steady sense of self a constant source of happiness in my life. I can only imagine where we go from here.
Humbly...