At Coco's three week check up today she weighed in at 6 pounds 7 ounces, a whopping 20 ounce weight gain in 17 days. Considering I am feeding one side per feeding, I am now convinced I am producing a monster amount of milk. Coco is choking on the milk at the start of each feed, and seems gassy and uncomfortable after several of the feeds during the day, but at least she is thriving and growing. Dr. Shulman recommended pro-biotic drops to help with the gas and fussiness. He thought they may or may not work, but that it was worth a try.
Over this past week we have celebrated Isaac's birthday, had our first visit from Barb, Paul, and Andrew, along with a visit from Auntie Leila, and had Coco's baby naming along with our annual Hanukkah party. It has been a whirlwind of events all which individually are wonderful but in combination has left me feeling really exhausted. Over this next week I am looking for some much needed rest and relaxation with our little family of four.
The baby naming ceremony was beautiful and Rabbi Johnson/Weizmann was lovely. The names we chose for our father's mothers reminded us of those who have paved the way before, and those we are honoring today. Both were beautiful and powerful women who we only hope our Mayim takes after. The name Mayim means water, which reminds us of life, vitality, nature. As we chose Coco for beautiful creative powerhouse women (aka gabriel chanel, koko taylor), mayim reminds us of the matriarchs of our family that allow us to be who we are today.
Our little guy, three year later...
Now having a newborn in my arms while celebrating his third birthday, I am reminded how far we have come in such a short amount of time. The way he can articulate his thoughts and feelings, carry on a conversation, describe experiences and emotions, and ask questions continues to surprise me. Lately he will continue to ask the same question several different ways until he is satisfied with the answer. This is usually centered around his lack of understanding of time.
Me: Isaac would you like to go to the beach house?
Isaac: Now?
Me: Tomorrow. First we will go to Bubie and Papu's house in Westlake, then to the beach house.
Isaac: Will I go to Westlake now?
Me: Yes
Isaac: Will I go to the beach house now?
Me: No, tomorrow.
Isaac: After this night night?
Me: You will have a nap, then a night night, then you will go to the beach.
Isaac: But will I go to Westlake?
This type of conversation could carry on endlessly until he was satisfied. It has become our goal to be as specific as possible, and try to find new ways to describe time and space.
He has also become fiercely independent since the birth of Coco. He wants to go to the bathroom on his own, doesn't want you in the room. Want to get dressed and undressed, put toys away without you helping, get shoes on and off, get in and out of the car seat... it has been a welcome and refreshing reaction to having a little one around. Much better than regression I suppose.
He loves his little sister and is very curious about her. He likes to lay with her, and hug her, and sleep next to her. So far no signs of animosity.
He is still VERY into trucks and cars, with a new found love of puzzles. He is very good at putting them together, and loves for us to watch. He is riding a tricycle on his own, drawing better everyday, and role playing with toys.
At three years he is a joy, a handful, and very much a little person. He is handsome and sweet with piercing blue eyes, both mellow and rambunctious depending on his mood. Very clear about his wants and needs. More outgoing than ever before, social at school, kind to his classmates, teachers, cousin, and sister. He shows empathy, compassion and understanding for others. Knows when to apologize and very much understand right from wrong. I feel proud for the little person we are raising. He is most importantly a very good person, a very kind person, a very observant person, and a very sensitive soul.
We love you I L S. Happy 3!
As a family we (or perhaps the needs of a restless toddler) have been pushing ourselves to venture out and do the things that make us feel good. We have introduced Coco to long walks around our neighborhood, the park, restaurants, and this past weekend lunch and the beach in Malibu. It was unseasonably warm, and Isaac was able to run around in the shallow water while we took some photos that will remind us of this time for years to come.
Getting four people ready and out of the house is noticeably more difficult than it used to be. Before Coco arrived we were a well oiled machine. Our responsibilities were consistent, and of course we had two adults to our one little guy. Now with our one on one defense we seem to be managing, but it requires David to handle Isaac on his own (which at this point takes a whole lot of energy) and for me to do most of the basic care taking and feeding of Coco (which also takes a whole lot of energy). Unfortunately we are coming at the task with very little energy, so the whole project can be quite a challenge. In the end we are always happy we made the effort, and it feels good to be going and doing. With each day it gets a little easier, and we become a little more adventurous. With David back at work, and both kids under my wing... we will see which way the wind takes us.
I cant believe it has already been a week since Coco was born. Each day since her birth has been rich with love, family, and togetherness. In so many ways life has simply moved forward, plus one. Having a second child has been such a different experience than having our first. I feel more relaxed about much of the process. I am not as schedule driven. Flexibility is paramount while running Isaac around town. I am less disturbed by the lack of sleep I am getting knowing that it is such a short part of the overall experience. I am way more able to live in the moment an relish at every little detail... even the unpleasantries seem vaguely pleasant.
Where it becomes harder is balance. Isaac has seemed to adapt quite well to having a little sister around. He is inquisitive about her whereabouts and noises, and kisses her occasionally, unprompted. Most of the time he seems neither here nor there about her being around. After the first time he held her, he asked us to put her back so he could watch mickey. He has been enjoying celebrating Hanukkah with a little sister, and opening her tiny gifts. I have taken her to pick him up at school, and we have all ventured around town doing the things that make us most happy. He seems patient and understanding... for now. I am probably having more trouble than he is. In many ways I feel disconnected from him. The things I used to be able to do others are having to help out with. I cant take him and pick him up from school every day, I cant be there physically every time he wants me. Nursing Coco means a lot of time tied up with a little one attached. He seems to understand the necessity of it, but I so often wish I could divide myself amongst them both. I know with time this too will change.
My recovery has been fairly quick with lingering troubles. The cramping that I was experiencing at the hospital has ceased, but has been replaced by knife like pain in a ligament attached to the uterus. My milk came in with a vengeance which led to the expected engorgement and discomfort. One breast has settled out, the other I am still having trouble with. Similarly to when I nursed Isaac I had to switch to feeding one side per feeding. I am going to give that a go and hope it clears up the pain.
We took Coco to see Dr. Shulman for the first time this week. She was back up to her birth weight. 5lb 3oz. He thought she looked beautiful, and wanted to see us again in two weeks.
She's finally arrived! Seems like we both had a similar plan for when a good entry date into the world would be. I had scheduled induction for Monday morning at 8am, and Sunday afternoon / evening the contractions began. It wasn't until our attempt at a last family dinner at Olivia on Sunday night that the contractions became consistent at seven minutes apart. After getting home and showering I decided to wait it out and see if they got any closer together. It wasn't until two in the morning that I decided its go time. We called mom and dad, and waited a nerve wrecking forty five minutes until they arrived and we could head out. I arrived at the hospital at 3am, was hooked up to IV fluids by 4am, checked by a nurse and was 1.5 cm dilated, pitocin started by 4:30am, majorly serious contractions until 7:30 am when I finally gave into the epidural, 30 minutes later I felt pressure and was checked and fully dilated. Dr. Rabin had to be pulled out of his surgery to quickly rush me into a delivery room. Stirrups flew up, half a push later baby flew out. It was a whirlwind for both me and Coco. Her breathing was quick at first so they continued to monitor her. She came out a blueish shade of purple but turned rosey pink within minutes. She weighed in at a petite 5lb 3.5oz and 19" long.
We spent 24 hours in the hospital, and after she quickly passed all of her tests were discharged. It is so wonderful to be home and to have our family of four finally together. Big brother seems to be adjusting to his new world, both curious and excited. He calls her 'my baby' and continues to ask where she is, what she is doing, why she is doing it. He mimics her funny little hands and mouth, and seems pretty enthralled as are mom and dad.
With my milk finally coming in, the sleep situation hasn't been all that bad. She is very easy to settle, and latched on immediately after delivery. She has been making things very easy on us.
I think I can speak for every member of our family in saying we are totally in love with Coco, and having so much fun getting to know her each day. She has rounded out our threesome into something much greater than we ever imagined, and this is only the beginning.
Here we are, half way through week 38. I cant believe it has finally arrived. My physical state has definitely been trumped by my emotional one. Feelings of excitement and anxiousness have overwhelmed all the aches and pains, contractions and back aches, and the general 'ick' state. I have kicked into high nesting mode trying to get everything ready before the baby comes. Cleaning and organizing, wrapping and folding, preparing... I am sure that this all helps me feel like I am gaining some control over that big unknown in front of me, but the reality is there is no control to be had.
At my last and final doctors appointment, I scheduled my induction for Monday December 7th @ 8am. It is quite possible that I could go naturally before then, as I am already starting to dilate, efface, and the head is 'right there'. It feels good to see the end, and to be able to prepare for it. With Isaac being unable to visit the hospital I wanted to make sure to make careful arrangements for him. This will allow me to feel like loose ends are tied up, and that things are as organized as they can be given the situation.
Friends and family have been so supportive during these past couple of weeks. It has helped me to get through, and to stay focused.
This will be my last pregnancy post, most likely ever, so in closing I will say... thank you. Thank you to my body for getting me through, to my family for carrying some of the weight, and to the precious baby growing inside of me.
Each kick reminded me, I was never alone.
What a wonderful thanksgiving weekend we spent as our family of three. I think each of us sensed that this time is coming to an end, and of course is coping in our own way, but having the time to just be and to spend together was magical.
Isaac has noticed something is going on for a long while now. How could he not? There is a new nursery next to his room, baby toys and swings have moved in, mommy's belly is becoming 'enormous' and there is lots of talk about baby. He typically doesn't want to engage in discussion about the baby unless we ask him what he wants to show her, or teach her. He is very interested in showing her his trucks and toys, and all of the things he likes to play with. He is not so interested in discussing her needs or her behaviors.
I have noticed in the past two weeks that he has become extremely clingy to me. This is very unusual as he normally gravitates to David... but there has been A LOT of 'mama, mama, mama' being shouted around the house. He has not wanted to spend his afternoons with Natalia, and if he knows that 'mama' is in the house' he just wants me. He is giving a ton of hugs, and kisses, and wants to be physically close which is a big shift for our fiercely independent little guy. When he wakes up from his naps he wants to cuddle and be close. He tells David and I 'I love you' hundreds of times a day, randomly and intentionally. It is so incredibly sweet that I dont want it to end. He is crying instantaneously over everything and anything. He is very on edge, and very much wants things laid out for him, and predictably so. He wants to know what is happening every hour of every day, where we are going, what we are doing. Perhaps this helps him feel in control of the unknown. I know that he doesn't have a great sense of time, so I am sure that he feels that the impending 'baby bomb' could happen at any minute.
It will be very interesting to see how he reacts to the baby once she is home. My guess is there will be a fair share of ignoring her, lots of acting out, some regression, and perhaps even anger and sadness.
As each member of our family is coping in different ways we have all been there to support each other as we transition through this time of change. I think we all believe it is OK to marinade in whatever emotion is striking us that day, and for the most part we have given each other leeway and space to just be. It is in this support and love that I know that our new number four will make more rich what we have already created. Her presence can only weave in more lovely layers to our tight knit little family unit. To her I say we are ready for you. Welcome baby girl... and I am sure with time Isaac will say, 'I love you'.
At Coco's three week check up today she weighed in at 6 pounds 7 ounces, a whopping 20 ounce weight gain in 17 days. Considering I am feeding one side per feeding, I am now convinced I am producing a monster amount of milk. Coco is choking on the milk at the start of each feed, and seems gassy and uncomfortable after several of the feeds during the day, but at least she is thriving and growing. Dr. Shulman recommended pro-biotic drops to help with the gas and fussiness. He thought they may or may not work, but that it was worth a try.
